Posted by: me | 2008-11-03

Ive become an unattractive fat wife

When I was in my 9th month of pregnancy I weighed about 80, my weight before I fell pregnant was 62kg' s, its 2 years since I gave birth and Im at 100kg' s. After I gave birth things just got so busy with the baby and we movedhouse so my plans to start exercising immediately after the birth fell by the wayside. I feel disgusted with myself for gaining so much weight after my pregnancy and its affecting the way I feel about myself, my energy levels, my ability or willingness to play and do stuff with my son to a certain extent, and last but certainly not least, its affected my marriage, i have lost my libido, I feel unattractive, my husband doesnt say it but I can see he is embarrased by how I look now, when we are in a mall, he rarely walks next to me, always behind or in front, and whats worse I dont even feel badly about him doing that because I dont care what he feels about my weight, thats how depressed and dispondent Ive become about it. We dont have sex anymore because I dont feel like it, and he doesnt make attempts at it probably because i dont turn him on anymore, I think he has been focussing on other women to what xtent I dont know, if its gone beyond flirting or is it at the physical level already, I dont know, but we had marital problems anyway, even when I was a perfect size 10, before the pregnancy so I believe that the stress of the marriage and post natal depression which he still doesnt know I suffered from after my baby , contributed to the weight gain. I never went for professional help for the PND.

My question is, what do I do to lose the weight, I dont eat junk food, Im very health conscious, some people dont exercise but they lose weight naturally after birth, I didnt, and I breastfed untill my son was 1year and 9months, but it didnt help with me losing weight like everyone says it does. Is there something wrong with me, I dont know what to do anymore, I feel ugly and disgusted with myself, and I dont blame my husband for not even wanting to look at me anymore, because the person I am now is not who he married, people might say that he must be undrstanding and love me for me, but I really dont blame him because its unattractive to be overweight, I used to be sexy and pretty, now Im an unatractive obese 32 year old. I hate myself right now

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, so you have gained wait and have been miserable, and for some reason have avoided having proper treatmwent for PND, weight-loss, or any of this. Why ? If you are still depressed, see a shrink and have it properly treated. And for general health issues and weight-loss, see a good GP or general physician for a full check-up and work on a plan for improving your diet and exercise, and losing weight. Maybe seeing a dietician would also help. You can do it !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Ruby | 2008-11-03

I really do think your hormones do change during pregnancy and that your weight gain could be due to medical causes. If I was you, I would go see a really good endocrinologist (Dr Hudson at Fourways Life Hospital is brilliant). Then he can check if your thyroid or sugar or something is causing this. Someone I know has been very much overweight and after seeing this doctor she lost 30kg without even trying and is looking great... Worth the shot!! All the best, dont give up on yourself or your marriage... its worth fighting for... You are much more than your body... R

Reply to Ruby
Posted by: Kb | 2008-11-03

The only way to lose weight in a healthy way is to sign up at a gym, and get physical. Trust me, it works.
Another thing you can do is get your Thyroid check,maybe you have a underactive thyroid.

Reply to Kb
Posted by: Ngwana | 2008-11-03

hi there

i USED to be exactly in those shoes. i lost a whooping 37 kgs over a 2 year period. how did i do it?
1. went for blood tests found that i have insulin resistance.
2. changed my life style (eating correct foods for my blood type)
3. excersized.

Before i had children i weighed 55 kgs, size 10-12. the maximum i ever weighted after child birth was 90 kgs size 42. thats when i made a U turn in my life style. 2 years later i can say with a smile that i' m back to my normal weight. not only does it feel good but it works wonders on my self esteem and self confidence.

let me know if you need more information because i can avail my self to assist you. i have been there, i know how it feels.


Reply to Ngwana

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