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Question
Posted by: Mom N Wife | 2011-02-08

It''s over

My marraige is over. I choose my son. My husband will never come around, he will never accept my child, and I cant go on like this. But the hurt is unbearable, and I dont know where to start. I cant grieve at work, and I cant grive in front of my son. All I want to do is cry and scream, rant and rave. I

I have a burning sensation in my stomach.

How do you heal from something like this? Where do you start. I wish I could just unplug or turn off the love I feel for my husband. That would make it so much easier.

Please tell me how to start healing, I have no idea where to start

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

See a counsellor. And clarify - what is it you are grieving for ? The loss of the marriage you HAD, or of the marriage you hoped for ?

The first might not be such a sad loss ; the second is something you never had. Yes, you definitely can heal from this, though you may do so quicker and more efficiently with the help of a good local counsellor.

The indigestion is one of many potential symptoms of grief and anxiety.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Dave | 2011-02-08

I am not perfect, I can be difficult sometime, but when it comes to kids, how can anyone be nasty to them for no reason? I think maybe he feels the child is in the way or something.

Is the father of the child still around...its easier for me because the child doesnt have a real dad, he calls me dad...So we are like a family with no extra pressure from outsiders.

Reply to Dave
Posted by: Liane | 2011-02-08

You have made the best decision by putting your child first, I am sure your husband had his chances, think of the way he treated your son, you cannot love someone who treats your own flesh and blood cruely.

It will get better with time as everything else does, now is your time to play catch up with your son... Enjoy

At Dave if only all men could be like you.

Reply to Liane
Posted by: Dave | 2011-02-08

Hey, your child will be affected emotionally, the child will grow up that way..I am married to a women who has a child and I love the child to bits, sometimes I spoil him too much but I love him... I take him on fishing trips and he loves it...the 3 of us spend A lot of time together...He has become my child :-)

If I can do it, then your sorry As* of a husband can too! But he will not, so just let him go...look in your child's eyes and know that is your life!

Reply to Dave
Posted by: Bron | 2011-02-08

I wish my mother had chosen me over her husband (my step dad) who never accepted me. My life was a mess for many years due to her always putting his needs first and being at his beck and call. She neglected me, and treated me as though I was the stumbling block in her marriage.

I am 38 now, and take life in baby steps. believe me, your child comes first. Her husband died and so did she, with many regrets. I continue to live with the bitter memories of that household.

Your child should be number one, you won't regret it.

Reply to Bron
Posted by: Hard | 2011-02-08

Because u have done the right thing peace will come. One day u will see u have lost nothing but gained everything . Well done for your bravery.Good luck with the councelling.

Reply to Hard
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-02-08

See a counsellor. And clarify - what is it you are grieving for ? The loss of the marriage you HAD, or of the marriage you hoped for ?

The first might not be such a sad loss ; the second is something you never had. Yes, you definitely can heal from this, though you may do so quicker and more efficiently with the help of a good local counsellor.

The indigestion is one of many potential symptoms of grief and anxiety.

Reply to cybershrink

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