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Question
Posted by: Me | 2010/10/29

It''s my fault

I just realized that I''m not a happy person because I''m too demanding. I''ve met so many people in my life, but I always see their flaws and I try to correct them, as if I was a model for everyone. I don''t force anyone to stay in my life, but if they throw a paper to the ground or refuse to eat food that is perfectly healthy and in good condition, or disrespect other people or animals, I will hit them with my moral views. Sometimes I will do it too if they do things that are bad for themselves, like doing drugs. Their lives are not my business, but when I care about someone, I can''t see them destroy themselves. However, everyone says I shouldn''t criticize so much. They say I should accept people for what they are. How do I change? I know I can stop my unpleasant remarks, but how do I make a change internally?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Unless someone is in absolutely immediate peril, it's not your task to correct them or intervene. Telling everyone what to do surely hasn't made you popular or happy, nor anyone else. And I very much doubt that it has ever much helped anyone else, either.
Counselling, especially of the CBT format ( which is aimed at helping us change unfruitful habiots of thouight and action ) would be an excellent way for you to change in ways that would make you and those around you, happier.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Juta | 2010/10/31

Your story is one side told, you tell us about drugs and abuse of animals because you know we all know that is wrong and we will sympathise and call you correct however for a thorogh analysis of a situation good enought to help you change we will need more.....what are you not saying? We all correct our friends on the above matters but we don''t get critisizm for it, we get appraisals....May i respectfully say you may have unintentionally lied or not told the whole truth about your situation. For example - there are people who are foever complaining and correcting others on everything .....and if you are one of them - you definately should change for even your true friends will grow tired of your demotivating energy& mdash -people need courage, to be uplifted , supported - nobody needs a human version of a false bible false preaching about heaven on earth, we all do our best....May I also say - you are correct to warn your friends about dangers of drugs and harming animals but even that you need a technique - you can''t call people crack heads and expect them to change, even though they are crackheads if you know what i mean.

Reply to Juta
Posted by: load | 2010/10/30

how do you change? simple do some cocaine and sleep with a stranger......that should keep you from judging for awhile!

Reply to load
Posted by: just me | 2010/10/30

If it will help someone like with the drugs its good to say something but where other people and food habits etc are concerned it is sometimes better not to say anything, yes you may not approve but your are allowed to think that and not always comment on that

Reply to just me
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/30

Unless someone is in absolutely immediate peril, it's not your task to correct them or intervene. Telling everyone what to do surely hasn't made you popular or happy, nor anyone else. And I very much doubt that it has ever much helped anyone else, either.
Counselling, especially of the CBT format ( which is aimed at helping us change unfruitful habiots of thouight and action ) would be an excellent way for you to change in ways that would make you and those around you, happier.

Reply to cybershrink

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