Our expert says:
Lerato, describe genital lubrication ('wet') which may or may not be a sign of being 'turned on' (women lubricate in response to many sexual stimuli many which they subjectively report as not enjoyable - this then can be seen as a reflex response and not necessarily indicating enjoyment). However, you ALSO say that you enjoy the sex, in which case it sounds like you have an erotic attachment to that kind of behaviour - which is not necessarily a problem. The problem as I see it may be that he doesn't know that you are just pretending to not like it. So if he really thinks it's okay to do this against your will, what happens if a day comes when you don't feel like it and don't enjoy it? He won't understand your different reaction and you are likely to feel violated/abused.
Some women do find the idea/fantasy of being dominated in this way very arousing and that's fine as long as they can ensure the rules of that domination. My main concern in your case is that your husband isn't part of the pretense; for him he appears to just be doing what he want irrespective of your 'protests'.
Perhaps you could make this more explicit/open with him and tell him that you are happy to play this role play, but that it is a role play. Find a way that you can communicate to him if it really is not okay so that you can find a safe way to stop it if you need to.
Claire - SASHA
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