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Question
Posted by: Joy | 2011/07/14

it hurts

it really is hard for me, i even think of taking my life and my childrens'. why is life so unfair? i've been in relationship with my ex for 12 years, i thought i know him but i was wrong. He dumped me with 3 little kids, took away everything i ever worked for including the childrens bank accounts. he doesnt contribute to their maintenance, i tried to take him to court but is fruitless because he affords the quality lawyer in the land. The case is dragging on for 13 months now. We are due to hearing next month, now he disputes the parternity of the children. he calls me names, he takes every chance to humiliate me in public.

it hurts, i cannot sleep anymore. now he wants me to be arrested. Gracioous God what have i done in this world?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Whether life is ( or seems to be ) fair or unfair, that is not any reason for thinking of taking your own life, let alone that of your children. Nobody's lfe is ALWAYS fair, but it can provide enough value and meaning to be well worth it in the long run.
If this guy has treated you so badly, don't let him get away with it. For instance, go to Maintenance Court, which will decide how much he should pay, and has the power to COMPEL him to pay proper and fair maintenance. And if he refuses to follow the court order, he can go to jail. Get your copies of paperwork and records in order, and if, for instance, he took the kids' bank accounts, the court could surely also order him to repay that, with interest. There are indeed some evil lawyers, but even the most expensive can't argue that a man has the right to steal from his children or to refuse to support them, and no compeent court could agree with such a shabby state of affairs.
If he is indeed their father, but questions paternity ( a competent court should ask why he only questioned this qwhen it might cost him money ) - then the court should insist on proper paternity blood and DNA testing, at his expense, to prove whether or not he is the father.
What on earth can he want you to be arested for ? It's hard enough to get the police to arrest obvious serious criminals, without them getting involved, improperly, in harrassing inocent women.
Dontact local women's groups such as those supporting abused women, like POWA, and see if they can't help support you in court. Maybe they can help you approach the media to get the press to report on his lousy behaviour.
Ignore his attempts to humiliate you, as you would ignore the barking of a stray dog - it has nothing more to say about you than that barking.
See a counsellor and shrink, maybe through a state hospital or clinic, o Medical School Department of Psychiatry, for assistance. And don't consider harming yourself or the children - can you imagine how greatly that could satisfy and please him ? And making such threats or admissions in ways he could hear and use in the case, could assist him, and he deserves no form of assistance whatever.
Finding ways for you and the children to live long and happier lives will be the finest form of vengeance on this horrible person.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Queen | 2011/07/15

Joy,

This too shall pass. Be strong. We are all born with that inner strength to which enables us to pull through anything. Look inside you and you will find it.

May God be with you

Reply to Queen
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/14

Whether life is ( or seems to be ) fair or unfair, that is not any reason for thinking of taking your own life, let alone that of your children. Nobody's lfe is ALWAYS fair, but it can provide enough value and meaning to be well worth it in the long run.
If this guy has treated you so badly, don't let him get away with it. For instance, go to Maintenance Court, which will decide how much he should pay, and has the power to COMPEL him to pay proper and fair maintenance. And if he refuses to follow the court order, he can go to jail. Get your copies of paperwork and records in order, and if, for instance, he took the kids' bank accounts, the court could surely also order him to repay that, with interest. There are indeed some evil lawyers, but even the most expensive can't argue that a man has the right to steal from his children or to refuse to support them, and no compeent court could agree with such a shabby state of affairs.
If he is indeed their father, but questions paternity ( a competent court should ask why he only questioned this qwhen it might cost him money ) - then the court should insist on proper paternity blood and DNA testing, at his expense, to prove whether or not he is the father.
What on earth can he want you to be arested for ? It's hard enough to get the police to arrest obvious serious criminals, without them getting involved, improperly, in harrassing inocent women.
Dontact local women's groups such as those supporting abused women, like POWA, and see if they can't help support you in court. Maybe they can help you approach the media to get the press to report on his lousy behaviour.
Ignore his attempts to humiliate you, as you would ignore the barking of a stray dog - it has nothing more to say about you than that barking.
See a counsellor and shrink, maybe through a state hospital or clinic, o Medical School Department of Psychiatry, for assistance. And don't consider harming yourself or the children - can you imagine how greatly that could satisfy and please him ? And making such threats or admissions in ways he could hear and use in the case, could assist him, and he deserves no form of assistance whatever.
Finding ways for you and the children to live long and happier lives will be the finest form of vengeance on this horrible person.

Reply to cybershrink

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