Posted by: lulu | 2009-02-25

IT ALMOST HAPPENED - Do i believe it?

I know you' ve heared it all before, but i really just needs someone elses opnion on this.

My bf and i have been 2gether for 4 years. During these 4 years things were wonderful, but als not so wonderful. But through hard times, good times, sad times, dissapointments we stood by each other and we forgave each other. We are really the odd couple, people didn' t like seeing us 2gether and were surprised that we are 4gether 4 such a long time. Everybody is against us, because he was seen as this fine looking guy and me, well as not so fine looking. Everywhere we went people would ask what he is doing with me, and telling him i' m 2 ugly 4 him, he can better ect. But despite all of it we loved each other and if it wasn' t 4 our love 4 each other we would have been seperated a long time ago.

Well lately our strong love became weak. (i think) He started a new job, which means new friends &  people. Ever since he started this job the fighting has been going on non stop. I sit at home waiting 4 him 2 come, but he shows up whenever it suits him. I' ve noticed that he has been phoning a girl who works with him, and asked him regarding this and whether his reason 4 treating me so selfishly was because of this girl. He said no.

This has been going on 4 the past 2 months and Sunday night i decided to write him a letter and in the letter i again asked him about this girl and gave him options 4 choose. Yes, No, Almost Happend, Happened Once. He chose Almost Happened.

He told me all of his work friends were together one night and they went to this girl house. While there there they drank and there was a " moment"  when he was alone with this girl and they almost kissed, but he decided no. Do i believe him? In my gut i feel that something did happened. We are seperated because i told him that there were feelings involved and conversations that led to " almost"  and that hurts the most. That he went so far for something 2 " almost"  happen.

I can not rest without knowing whether something did happen and I' m trying everything in my power to know the truth.

But i' m so confused at the same time, cause i don' t want to loose him if he didn' t do something. But then on the other side something " almost"  happened. i love him so much and this hurts so much. He' s never cheated on me in 4 years, why now, especialy after everything we have been through. He send me a sms yesterday saying he won' t ever leave me. How do i respond. he phoned me and asked if we can talk 2night, and i' m so scared.

I really, really need advise. I' m going crazy. I don' t have anyone to talk to cause i don' t have any true friends who i can trust. I don' t need anybody 2 judge me or to tell me i told u so. I just need someone elses point of view.

Thanks in advance!

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Our expert says:
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If you ever mix with people so vain and so profoundly ugly as to complain that you are too ugly for your husband, you have bee mixing with some truly horrible people. But why on earth haven't you both become involved in proper marriage counselling, instead of just letting things slide into a nasty state of affairs ?
Get into copunsellig together, perhaps through FAMSA, and dump all of those horrible "friends", and start making some genuine friends, who can be happy to see you happy.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Lulu | 2009-02-25

Thank you Tanya &  Jane.

Reply to Lulu
Posted by: Jane | 2009-02-25

Questioning too much might hurt you and damage the good relationship you have with you boy.
Do not question him rather tell him what you are expecting in the relationship.Even if he can tell you what happened chaces are you might not believe him.

Reply to Jane
Posted by: Tanya | 2009-02-25

first of all those people who ask him what he is doing with you are bastards!!!! they have no right!! Shallow people you do not need in your life. Whatever happened, you probably wont really ever know but all i can tell you is this: you have two choices, you either forgive him and move on or option 2, you get a new life, new man etc. He must also understand that phoning another female is looking for trouble, if he is prepared to leave that alone and move on with you then i say go for it!
as for these other people, YOU DO NOT NEED THEM!!!! i actually cannot understand the nerve some people have! good luck

Reply to Tanya

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