Our expert says:
SOunds like she is unhappy that you'll be moving away from her, and is trying to find other ways to complain about this and to discourage you from doing so. Simply explain it calmly to her as you did in this message, and include the fact that you pay her more than a creche would cost, because you like to be able to rely on her care, and hope the extra is convenient for her ; but that if she opposes this necessary move, you'll just have to place him in the creche full day, and would regret having to do that. Presumably your fiancee is bewildered at findign himself accused and under attack. Explain things calmly to him, too, and enlist his help to be calm but firm towards your mom, and not to take the bait she offers to create conflict
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