Posted by: Layla | 2009-03-31


My mom and I also had a major fight in Jan. where she called me the worst names you could imagine.Including a whore/slut.She got upset with me for speaking back to her as she was insulting my boyfrnd and accused me of things I never done.That was it and I wanted to set her straight.
So I made the mistake of telling her exactly what was on my mind.
I' m 24, have been with my bf for over a year now, we decided to have sex and then I decided to go onto the pill, she found it although i tried to keeo it hidden.
I never knew she found it until this day we agued and threw it in my face calling me these names in front of my siblings holding nothing back.
Anyways I stormed out told my bf everything, she also accused me of spending huge amounts of money on him because I was having all my post posted to work as everything gets opened before it reaches me.I went back home although never spoke to her until the second week I decided to be the better person.It was like she was even more angry with me!!!

I can' t move out on my own, I won' t be able to support my siblings as id have other expenses then.What I would like is to get a place of my own and take them with me but I think that will have to come at a later stage.

I still cannot get it over my heart the names she called me!That she even thought that me having sex or not was any of her business and what a nerve she had!
I cannot even think about taking the pill again as it just brings up that whole day and what it had caused.I can' t stand living in a house where everything I have a examined/read/opened!
She even read my diary when I was in high school and my baby sister told me afterwards that she used to sit and read it while I was at school and knew where the key was.
All these memories just bring up so much hurt and hate for her even though she has done good too it' s all this that I cannot forget.

I feel like i have forgiven, she is my mom after all but i cannot forget.
Another mistake i made was always telling my bf whatever happens in our house and now he hates my mom too.

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Our expert says:
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I see no value in forgiving people like this, at lweast not in the usual sense --- it only encourages them to continue to be cruel to others. Definitely do not forget.
You are 24, and apparently stuck at home until you can afford a place of your own. She needs to recognize that you are an adult now, and can make up your own mind about your life. And if you are supporting your siblings, she should be grateful to you, and ashamed that she herself has failed to do so. Maybe she would like to break up your relationship for fear that you will move out and stop supporting them, though they are her responsibility. Does she not work ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2009-03-31

NOT telling your bf about the issues would mean that you don' t trust him. Communication is one of the most important parts of relationships. Holding back and keeping secrets is never a good thing. Seems that he is completely entitled to not like your mom. She doesn' t seem like a particularly likeable or even loveable person. If you can, it might be a good idea to get some family counselling. If she refuses to go, it' s still a good idea to try and get the little ones to chat to someone about their lives. If what she is doing causes a negative impact on the little ones, they will only get benefits with counselling.

Good Luck

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