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Question
Posted by: Shan | 2011-09-28

Is this normal?

After being assaulted, robbed, held hostage and gang raped 3 months ago is it normal to be obsessed with the death penalty and punishment? I am on mood stabilizers and anti depressants but it is getting worse. Please advise

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sory to hear about your awdul experiences. It often happens that one remains disturbed by such trauma. This may be in milder forms, and natural that one feels angry about what happened, especially if the perpetrators got away or were gently treated, as happens far too often in our country. But one may also develop PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which needs careful assessment and treatment, including medications and skilled psychotherapy, to enable one to recover. I don't believe any victim should ever be encouraged to "forgive" those who harmed her, but it is indeed useful to work with a psychotherapist / counsellor to let go of the sort of bitter brooding over what happend and those who did it, which does them no harm at all, but ties you firmly to replays of the awful events, instead of enabling you to move through this and to get on with the happier part o your life.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: vickki | 2011-10-03

Yes, I would say it is normal. I have had friends raped. Once I was listening to a radio programme where a woman was pleading for rapists to be treated as mentally ill people (about 20 years ago!) and there was a young (black) woman listening with me. I said to her, ''I don''t agree with this person''. She said ''being raped is like a living death''. So.......... I feel rapists act as they do as a power-thing, among other reasons. The delivery to the community they harmed, which will lead to the ''6ft under'', is the best punishment for them. Why must our children, women, old people, and, yes, males, be subjected to this torture that is mental agony as well as physical? Until the powers that be can effectively punish the perpetrators, the victims will know little peace.

Reply to vickki
Posted by: Mr De''ath | 2011-09-29

Romany, you beat me to it. Those were EXACTLY the comments I intended to make, including hoping K nd family did not become victims !! Its amazing how THAT changes ones persective !!

Reply to Mr De''ath
Posted by: Romany | 2011-09-29

Sorry, one more thing. I hope this NEVER happens to your mother, your daughter or your wife........

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Romany | 2011-09-29

Stick to the point of the argument K.
No punishment = increased crime
You are insulting to assume that only the " uneducated" commits crime......

Reply to Romany
Posted by: K | 2011-09-28

yeah right....the old death penalty argument. Puts us in the same league as Iran, Zimbabwe, Korea.....no thanks. Next thing you will want women to wear a veil or like Old Bob in Zim, make a mess of a lovely African paradise.

Why do you think we have such high crime rates? Do we have a good record of human rights? Were most of the population brought up believing they were equal and worthy....or were they made to belive that people are scum and out to mistreat them?

The solution lies in education. Have a look at the link between human rights, education and crime in other countries. A country''s advancement is measured by how it treats its citizens....all of them.

Reply to K
Posted by: Nonni | 2011-09-28

Hear Here Romany. Well said indeed

Reply to Nonni
Posted by: Romany | 2011-09-28

Well said Mr De''''Ath !
Shan, do the women of this world a duty and contact " You"  magazine to publish your story.
So many things are just swept under the carpet. maybe if victims start speaking up for themselves, every single time something horrible like this happens, people may just see how horrible our " justice" system is and not just " go with the flow" when next they have to make a cross, but use the liberty to make a decision for themselves and their children.
I say, if you are not going to bring back the death penalty, then give the rapists and the murders and the rest of the scum of this eart to the people that they have damaged and harm and let the people decide on their punishment.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Mr De''Ath | 2011-09-28

Oh yes, death penalty is a wonderful institution. Many people make the mistake of believing that the death penalty is not a deterrant for major crimes.

I agree. Its not a deterrant. It is societies method of dealing with criminals who have decided on their own free will to deliberately place themselves outside the rules of normal society and by their actions have sealed their fate. Society will determine that they have no need for these criminals and the best place for all concerned is 6ft under.

As for the police.... its pointless discussing them. By and large they see policework simply as a job, a means to an end. Their recruits are drawn from that level of society that are municipal traffic officers and security guards. Its just a JOB.

The problem starts with the Commissioner who is an inexperienced civilian who styles himself as a " General"  and has the cheek to wear a uniform with all appropriate badges of rank, totally inappropriate and in fact an insult to all policemen who have EARNED the rank they hold..

There is not a " calling"  to be a policeman here and believe me all the best policemen in the entire world have had a calling. Its special. Not everyone can rise to those professional standards. Unfortunately we are stuck with clowns who have no clue in the meaning of policing or serving the community.

Reply to Mr De''Ath
Posted by: Romany | 2011-09-28

I am sorry to hear about the terrible things that happened to you.
Nothing like this has ever happened to me but I too am totally obsessed with the death penalty, the low conviction rate of criminals, cheap and easy bail, missed docets, corrupt police etc etc......

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-09-28

Sory to hear about your awdul experiences. It often happens that one remains disturbed by such trauma. This may be in milder forms, and natural that one feels angry about what happened, especially if the perpetrators got away or were gently treated, as happens far too often in our country. But one may also develop PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which needs careful assessment and treatment, including medications and skilled psychotherapy, to enable one to recover. I don't believe any victim should ever be encouraged to "forgive" those who harmed her, but it is indeed useful to work with a psychotherapist / counsellor to let go of the sort of bitter brooding over what happend and those who did it, which does them no harm at all, but ties you firmly to replays of the awful events, instead of enabling you to move through this and to get on with the happier part o your life.

Reply to cybershrink

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