Our expert says:
I really think that as soon as you start thinking "soul mates" you need to see a counsellor - a highly mischievous and misleading concept that more often than not leads to grief. That's a delusion, not a relationship.
And how often don't I remind people that starting a relationship, with someone going through or soon after a major divorce or break-up is also usually a recipe for problems ? Your story perfectly confirms my usual warnings, and it really could have been predicted.
Now you discover he was cheating on you with his ex, and cheating on her with you - doesn't that tell you something extremely important about him ? Those are not "mistakes". A mistake is when you pour salt instead of sugar into your coffee.
It makes sense for him to see his daughter by his ex, but if the relationship between the two "adults" is actually over, they don't need to spend time together.
Your daughter sounds too young to be aware of what is happening, and highly unlikely to be harmed in any way by a separation. Under 3-4 years, kids really don't form memories the way we do, and can't understand the complex messes adults create for themselves.
Having " a father" around may or may not be useful - what patters is the consistency and quality of that man's live, not his simply being around.
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