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Question
Posted by: ZOLEKA | 2011/08/01

Is this fair

I married hubby in 2004, but up to date we do not have our own house to stay the other day were discussing about having our own house he said i will have to wait for another 40 years to have my own house, his mother called him yesterday about the renovating her house and hubby said he will help her he also told me he has to help his mother since he is the first born ,what is this? will i ever have my own house, must i stop him to give his mother money. am i being a stupid or what? this is very difficult for me what must i do please help.i also aske dfo new sofas he said he does not have money but he is giving his mom money .

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are no absolute rules here ; cultural traditions are strong in most communities, and perhaps such decisions will be influenced by whether the parents were good and caring ; and in this case, on whether the mother's house is in a dreadful condition and urgently needing repair, or if the renovations are simply luxuries and for show. I don't get the first-born idea- does he think the other children, who were equally cared for by the mother, need not contribute at all ?
Doesn't he think he also has duties towards his wife ?
What do other readers think ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011/08/01

Charity starts at home...... unless his mother is destitute and out on the street, in which case he needs to help her, YOUR house should come FIRST

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Ginger | 2011/08/01

Girl, that''s areally tough one. Does ur hubby have employed siblings? If so, then they should all contribute. Just my 2cents worth. Very honorable of him though

Reply to Ginger
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/01

There are no absolute rules here ; cultural traditions are strong in most communities, and perhaps such decisions will be influenced by whether the parents were good and caring ; and in this case, on whether the mother's house is in a dreadful condition and urgently needing repair, or if the renovations are simply luxuries and for show. I don't get the first-born idea- does he think the other children, who were equally cared for by the mother, need not contribute at all ?
Doesn't he think he also has duties towards his wife ?
What do other readers think ?

Reply to cybershrink

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