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Question
Posted by: Hans the General | 2011/01/09

is this a curse or a gift?...

I get a serious kick out of verbal jousting, especially online and in email communication… I keep quite a good hold on it at work but sometimes in and out of work I challenge people’ s comments and will talk them into a corner so much so that they end up hating me… and I’ m getting to like it more and more… 

I work in the IT industry and spend alota of time at my work or home pc… I regularly go out to pubs/clubs/events and socialize with friends but also spend alota time reading and researching all kinds of topics on the internet and feel like I’ m a sponge for new info… problem is that I can’ t bottle up this info and need to get it out to get in newer info in all the time… I’ ve never been conventionally athletic but did partake in sports, just track and field though, no team-sports and was actually banned from the school soccer team and team sports altogether when I was about 8, coz I’ d lose my temper and start fighting, but the thing is that those fights started coz I might outrun someone who’ d resort to tugging my shirt and I have a strong sense of fair play so things like that really tick me off in the worst way...

when at work or elsewhere, I usually perform best when I’ m alone with very little supervision and its caused alota tension because I don’ t socialize or mingle much with the people around me at my new job, the alienation was dealt with quickly coz being methodical and fair, I followed the chain of command with industry policies in my back pocket and now nobody screws with me, management even goes wide-eyed when I speak up and wont approach me lightly… now this is all ok for me in a work environment but personally its becoming a problem coz most people and especially women cant understand that this verbal karate is just for fun and under the audible dramatics, therez alot of affection coz I’ m so well self-controlled that this display is just play and I want someone to play along… maybe I act a bit too well but still, just the fact that they get to see any kinda emotional/verbal display from me, good or bad, its still out of affection… 

I have a way with words and always tend to jump into verbal shootouts with anyone who happens to be a bit sarcastic or condescending to me or my friends, online or otherwise… its getting worse lately and I’ ve taken to writing rhymes and little theories on everything from the planets and the ecosystem to romantic relationships and even some things that would anger the masses!...sometimes I find an overwhelming pleasure in being hated when my verbal lips crack these verbal whips!

Is there something wrong with me?...how do I fix it?...what kind of safe outlets are there for this mental restlessness and pure disregard for social acceptance?...i’ m toying with the idea of taking up writing or counseling as a 2nd career which may even become full-time...i think my Geminian duality can afford me this diversity or what you think, am I just crazy?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Like kick-boxing, it's probably alright if one only with equals, who are similarly skilled and also want to joust. Done to people less able to defend themselves, it's bullying.
What you describe sounds lore like a way you have found to dominate others and make you feel like a triumphant winner, by puting them down.
What youre descibing is not quite athletic, but certainly competitive. And the fierceness with which you pursue it may arise out of a level at which you feel somehow inferior / not one of the guys / maybe someone who was teased and made to feel inadequate who is not The Worm Turned ?
Revive that sense of fair play that was so active when you were younger.
As for the |verbal karate" being "just for fun", remember my old Law of communication - if you arfe the only one laughing, it wasn't funny. And if you're the only one who thought it was fun, it wasn't about fun.
And sometimes, one may grow to feel satisfied to be hated, when you don't feel you're likely to be liked.
Counselling could help you to find more fruitful ways to use your undoubted skills ; don't even dream of taking up counselling as a 2nd career until you have undergone it yourself, and from someone intellectually capable of handling you.
The difference between what you describe and counselling, is like the difference betwen cage fighting and brain surgery,



The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Hans the General | 2011/01/10

thanks Cybershrink, something for me to think about....as for the other clowns, you took that Geminian part so literally that you missed the point!..thanks anyway, the world needs people like you too!

Reply to Hans the General
Posted by: two-stone | 2011/01/10

Sorry mate, you are just plain arrogant and full of yourself. I am also a Gemini, and whilst Geminis enjoy chatting etc it is seldom at the expense of other peoples feelings. I am dissapointed in you.

Reply to two-stone
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/10

Like kick-boxing, it's probably alright if one only with equals, who are similarly skilled and also want to joust. Done to people less able to defend themselves, it's bullying.
What you describe sounds lore like a way you have found to dominate others and make you feel like a triumphant winner, by puting them down.
What youre descibing is not quite athletic, but certainly competitive. And the fierceness with which you pursue it may arise out of a level at which you feel somehow inferior / not one of the guys / maybe someone who was teased and made to feel inadequate who is not The Worm Turned ?
Revive that sense of fair play that was so active when you were younger.
As for the |verbal karate" being "just for fun", remember my old Law of communication - if you arfe the only one laughing, it wasn't funny. And if you're the only one who thought it was fun, it wasn't about fun.
And sometimes, one may grow to feel satisfied to be hated, when you don't feel you're likely to be liked.
Counselling could help you to find more fruitful ways to use your undoubted skills ; don't even dream of taking up counselling as a 2nd career until you have undergone it yourself, and from someone intellectually capable of handling you.
The difference between what you describe and counselling, is like the difference betwen cage fighting and brain surgery,



Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: IMO | 2011/01/09

Have no idea if u r crazy but anyone who states that their life choices are due to their duel Geminality is not someone I would chose to counsel me in any area.

Reply to IMO
Posted by: answer | 2011/01/09

Write, good harmless way to get it out of you and will help with the restlessness.

Reply to answer

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