Our expert says:
Losing a parent, at ANY age, is often a terrible event and hard to cope with. Its good that your husband has been supportive and helpful, and one month is still early days in terms of you working your way through your grief. But my experience and that of others is clear --- even the nicest people can be highly sympathetic in the early days but then expect us to get back to normal long before we are ready to do so, and can grow impatient. Until they experience similar grief, they just don't understand how hard grief work and how long it takes.
His comments suggest another common component --- it is painful for someone who loves you to just sit and watch you suffer the pangs of grief when nothing they do visibly seems to actually help. They understandably dislike feeling helpless, and often don't understand that just being there can be valuable, without their needing to do anything more elaborate.
Remember that oen major aim in the necessary grief work you are engaging in, is NOT to forget about the person you loved, but to be able to remember them with joy andn not bitter sadness. To be happy to see the things she got you and remember how that happened, to enjoy them as tokens of her love, not as awful reminders that she's not physically still with you. Atually physically being by your side isn't the only way someone can love you.
Nobody may love you exactly as your mother did ( and her love is still with you ) -- but other people like your huisband can love you very much, too, but in their own way. Do consider seeing a grief counsellor, such as one attached to your nearest hospice, to help you work though this better.
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