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Question
Posted by: JackwithnoStraw | 2012/10/15

Is there a problem

I need some advice, been married for 6 years, been together this Nov for a decade. I''ve noticed a decline in our sexual relationship were we only get down to around 5/6 times a month. Now we''ve spoken about it and I''ve tried making a huge effort but I''ve left it for weeks and instead of things increasing, they''ve come down to 0.
Is there a problem? No effort is been made and it''s very one sided. I feel we are still young and should be more active.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Hi JWNS
(See my response to the last Anon's last posting.)

There is no doubt that if there is a change in a sexual relationship that is not talked about, this will sooner or later present as a problem in the relationship itself. The danger is that both parties in the relationship suppress their feelings and don’t talk to each other so that the sexual relationship eventually falls apart altogether. The reset button needs to be pushed, feelings ventilated, and a mutual assurance of support, non-judgement and loving kindness be communicated. If this is not possible, then there may be an issue in the relationship that is expressing itself sexually, in which case a relationship counselor would be very helpful. Either way, if this kind of problem continues it can be a very valuable experience for personal and mutual growth to consult with a sex therapist.
Anthony – SASHA. For further information please consult SASHA’S website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/10/16

Hi JWNS
(See my response to the last Anon's last posting.)

There is no doubt that if there is a change in a sexual relationship that is not talked about, this will sooner or later present as a problem in the relationship itself. The danger is that both parties in the relationship suppress their feelings and don’t talk to each other so that the sexual relationship eventually falls apart altogether. The reset button needs to be pushed, feelings ventilated, and a mutual assurance of support, non-judgement and loving kindness be communicated. If this is not possible, then there may be an issue in the relationship that is expressing itself sexually, in which case a relationship counselor would be very helpful. Either way, if this kind of problem continues it can be a very valuable experience for personal and mutual growth to consult with a sex therapist.
Anthony – SASHA. For further information please consult SASHA’S website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.

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