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Question
Posted by: Mantwa | 2012-08-27

Is my work stressing me or its me

Hi.
The market is dry out there but I feel it is time to move on from my job. I dont feel like coming to work anymore and that makes me feel terrible &  stresses me out because I have kids to look after as I am a single parent. When I get to work I am at the edge asking myself what else is going to go wrong. Every day there''s just one thing that will stress me with the client, etc. I cannot finish the work without being worried if it is perfect. The outcome of the project up until I get feedback from the client kills me that I feel so stressed and sad half the day if not the whole day sometimes. Once feedback is received I become relieved but feel I dont want to go through that again. But I do, because my work is about projects and clients everyday. I hate feeling this way. And worse because I was promised a promotion last year which hasnt materialised and hearing nothing from Management. When I ask I have been told that high-up the ladder are still thinking about it. So that means whatever I do is not enough. Clients call and send e-mails that their happy with my work, but all I get is negativity from Management and still thinking I am not worth it. I work abnormal hours and have two small kids. I knock off late almost everyday, etc with no overtime pay. With the way Management is acting up, I feel I am proving myself and overworking myself too much and they just dont care. I feel demotivated. I have started making applications but nothing at all. Not even a single interview. I have sent my CV for people to check and they all say it looks good. I am now not too sure what the problem is. I am really stressing...I need growth, I need to earn a living so I can buy a home for my kids. At this rate I feel my life is stagnant. Month-ends are stressful as I have a lot to do with very little money that I earn. I pray a lot and sometimes feel maybe God says I ask too much? I dont want to say I am sad...but I am heading that way... but I need the courage to make it...for my kids. I am dying inside...slowly. Doc please assist. And can anyone relate to my story? I doubt it...this feels very strange!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Many of us find times in our lives and careers when we feel stuck in a job we find either just boring or definitely unpleasant. But especially when we have responsibilities, like children or others to look after, we stick with it while actively searching for something better, rather than leaving too easily. Its usually easier to get a new job when you already have one, than when unemployed.
Now in your particular situation, it sounds as though you may be perfectionist to the point of being over-anxious that something might go wrong when working with a client, rather than feeling confident you can make it go right. It sounds as though your work is generally fine, but that you never feel confident and always feel at risk.
Sadly, Bad management is the usual sort. You should be given support and encouragement, and useful feedback throughout your work.
The promoion that didn't happen may be about the quality of your work, or because the company isn't doing so well financially this year - but either way, should have been discussed with you.
In a properly run office, nobody should have to work extra hours of overtime except in genuine emergencies.
Maybe the HR dept of wherever you work can advise - I don't think companies are entitiled to expect people to work unpaid overtime. Maybe they'd say this is your choice if you don't finish work within the office hours ?
Its not an easy time to get a job, worldwide, due to the economic problems, so don't blame yourself if it is seeming to be hard.
Maybe its not sadness you feel so much as discouragement. You can and will make it, and sadly, like many other workers, you are not receiving the encouragement and support you need and deserve.
I'm sure other readers will indeed relate and should have helpful comments to offer. Is there an HR person or dept you can discuss this with ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Mantwa | 2012-08-27

Thank you very much Doc for this. It all makes sense now. I can agree with you that I am some sort of a perfectionist and I think that does stress me a whole lot more.
I agree with you fully on everything mentioned here. I also thought one is given an option of so much overtime at a time...I see to work more and more. I will most definately try and get hold of HR to deal with this...it needs to be sorted asap...!!
Thanks a lot for this...I am glad I offloaded here and appreciate the positive response!!!
M

Reply to Mantwa
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-08-27

Many of us find times in our lives and careers when we feel stuck in a job we find either just boring or definitely unpleasant. But especially when we have responsibilities, like children or others to look after, we stick with it while actively searching for something better, rather than leaving too easily. Its usually easier to get a new job when you already have one, than when unemployed.
Now in your particular situation, it sounds as though you may be perfectionist to the point of being over-anxious that something might go wrong when working with a client, rather than feeling confident you can make it go right. It sounds as though your work is generally fine, but that you never feel confident and always feel at risk.
Sadly, Bad management is the usual sort. You should be given support and encouragement, and useful feedback throughout your work.
The promoion that didn't happen may be about the quality of your work, or because the company isn't doing so well financially this year - but either way, should have been discussed with you.
In a properly run office, nobody should have to work extra hours of overtime except in genuine emergencies.
Maybe the HR dept of wherever you work can advise - I don't think companies are entitiled to expect people to work unpaid overtime. Maybe they'd say this is your choice if you don't finish work within the office hours ?
Its not an easy time to get a job, worldwide, due to the economic problems, so don't blame yourself if it is seeming to be hard.
Maybe its not sadness you feel so much as discouragement. You can and will make it, and sadly, like many other workers, you are not receiving the encouragement and support you need and deserve.
I'm sure other readers will indeed relate and should have helpful comments to offer. Is there an HR person or dept you can discuss this with ?

Reply to cybershrink

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