advertisement
Question
Posted by: Pain | 2012/04/04

Is my life over

I am a 38 year old female, with a 3 year old baby, partner left before I could stop breast feeding. It has been 3 years now without a partner or boyfriend. I have always believed that marriage is something that will happen  or rather I believed that everyone deserves to get that chance to walk down the aisle. As I slowly approach 40 with no marriage proposal am worried sick, I get the looser feeling and feeling like am not good enough. My mother has already told me to forget about it, my brother thinks I must be joking to think anyone will look at me as a potential wife. All my male friends assume I am not still worried about marriage  I should just be meeting people for sex and forget about my silly dream. Is it really the end of the road, anyone who knows as anything about woman as they approach the big 40? Are we really what people assume, just old bats? I feel so sad, I have never been married, I believe I can make a good partner and a wife, so why me? I take time to get over someone that I have open my life to. I never jump from one relationship to the next hence time sort of passes me by. I would like to be part of a healthy and happy union. When a guy is interested in me, I make them aware of my age, as most people think am still in my late twenties or maybe early thirties. I do not want to deceive anyone, but the minute I declare my age they are too shocked and their interest changes. I thought as a woman you need to take care of yourself, now it is like a trick. I am even tempted to go change my date of birth then that way I can have another chance in love.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I underastand how you feel, though its not because you're not good enough. Maybe you haven't met anyone good enough for you, yet. Marriage isn't guaranteed for anyone, and doesn't happen to everyone. It is unfortunate that many people are ageist and prejudiced against people according to the number of their years.
As mariana says, a miserable marriage is much worse that no marriage.
Some people don't marry, and can stll live happy and fulfilled lives ; some people marry later in life that others. There's a very long way to go before lofe is over.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

8
Our users say:
Posted by: Pain | 2012/04/16

Hi, ME, please do, maybe I will learn a thing or two. My e-mail is PainC12@gmail.com. Sorry I did not go back to this post , as I was just feeling a bit low. Thanks guys for yourcomments much appreciated. Hope you will come back and check this post...

Reply to Pain
Posted by: Me | 2012/04/10

Hi Pain, can I perhaps mail you?

Reply to Me
Posted by: Pain | 2012/04/05

I hear you guys, all I ask for is a chance, am not saying it will be all rosy, but can I also have the opportunity to give it my best shot. I think I will feel much better if I tried and failed. Not ever been asked is such a slap across the face. I not even sure what men look for in a woman. In my little head I was convinced that I meet the cateria. Do guys not want an independent, humble, social, loving, good looking woman? I am not blowing my own horn but I seem to get compliment but no one really wants to settle with me. At first people thought I was too independent, I should be married, when I say no, they like then what is wrong with you or the guys you have been dating? Now is like I have missed the boat. Everyone had been burnt, that gives one a sense of peace  always the bridesmaid never the bride is hard. To add the wound, I got myself pregnant, now I have a baggage  I fall under single mothers before I was even a wife. I have been for counseling, my doctors says am too hard on myself but I tried doing the right thing all my life waited for the so called Mr. Right. I cannot even be judged for having a child out of wedlock as I was already approaching mid thirties.

Reply to Pain
Posted by: Malefyane | 2012/04/04

Don''t wish to get married. I had been married for the second time now and its like from bad to worse. I am at the point of quitting, so jaa marriage its not fun at all. Anyway I think I am being too negative from my own experience so, good luck and hope that one day you will meet a man who will be far much better from what I saw. Pray for your husband and most importantly, ask GOD to give you a man who knows how to pray and can kneel down with you when storms come into your house. For me I pray all by myself, go to church alone, eat dinner alone, shop alone, all I pray for is stregth and freedom. Good luck.

Reply to Malefyane
Posted by: Me | 2012/04/04

Pain...I think you dread the fear of growing " old"  all by yourself. I''m 42, was married and divorce many moons ago. Had 2 g/friends after that, I''m single again and still optimistic. Do not get depressed about it, your life is far from over. And never think you will not find a guy who won''t be interested in you because of your baby.
Also agree with Kc...pray dear.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Kc | 2012/04/04

Pray lala, Pray...There is nothing bigger than that!

Reply to Kc
Posted by: mariana | 2012/04/04

Know your life is not over, it is just beginning!!!! Please look positieve to your situation, the right man will come your way, just be patient. I have been married and i can tell you it is worse to be in an unhappy marriage as to be single. I waited a long time to meet mr right and i am now 42 with two boys, which make it more difficult for me to found someone special cause i have baggage. I have been on date sites and met many men but i finally met someone wonderfull..

Reply to mariana
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/04

I underastand how you feel, though its not because you're not good enough. Maybe you haven't met anyone good enough for you, yet. Marriage isn't guaranteed for anyone, and doesn't happen to everyone. It is unfortunate that many people are ageist and prejudiced against people according to the number of their years.
As mariana says, a miserable marriage is much worse that no marriage.
Some people don't marry, and can stll live happy and fulfilled lives ; some people marry later in life that others. There's a very long way to go before lofe is over.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement