Our expert says:
I wish we could ban the use of the currently popular word "confront". Confrontation is generally an aggressive process, which generates aggressive responses, and surprisingly seldom a useful outcome. Of course there are situations in which it is necessary to speack calmly with someone and to reveal something one knows or which one feels strongly about, in a more peaceful manner, assertive without being aggressive. But then you describe her as
From your description, her behaviour is clumsy, naive and forward, but not necessarily sinister. If this was the ONLY example, if she has never ever behaved in any way like this towards anyone else, it might be more worrying. She's a highly immature and flirty teenager who, you say, cheats on many boyfriends, and has made an ostentatious display of affection to someone else's bofreiend, too.
YOU speaking to her probably wouldn't help much - she'd deny that anything was wrong, and maybe label you as over-reacting, etc. Discuss this calmly with Josh, and agree that he will not allow her to do this, will discourage her ( the more subtly the better. When she squeezes in next to him, he'll get up and sit elsewhere ; he wont accept o answer phone calls from her, and so on. Not in a hostile way, but firmly not accepting jer advances.
And have you thought, maybe between you, chatting to her parents about this ? Wht are they apparently so uninterested in a teenager with promiscuous habits, which could put her at risk of STD, pregnancy, and social problems ? Don't they care ? You're describing obviously inappropriate flirty behaviours in front of the family. She may be seeking attention, but isn't getting the attention she needs from the people who should be giving it to her. They may be neglecting her in other less noticeable ways, too.
Your fiancee is probably being naive and unrealistic, as some young men can be, and not recognizing the sinister intent on her part, but should be glad to join you in dealing with this, primarily by denying to her the agreeable attention she apparently craves.
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