Our expert says:
It is important for all couples to appreciate that they will share certain turn ons and turn offs and that there will also always be certain turn ons and turn offs you do not share. It is quite possible, be it a concern with germs, or be it the taste, smell or how it feels on his skin, or just be his mental associations with kissing you after being rimmed by you or once you have finished having sex the smells and or textures of ejaculate on or in your bodies etc. that for him he prefers to shower immediately after sex and not to kiss after being rimmed.
You are interpreting his behaviour as a reflection of your attractiveness and cleanliness and personalising it, which is understandable. Yet it is possible that what really lies behind his behavior is merely about his own personal preferences and in no way a reflection on you.
It will be important for the two of you to talk this through in a non-confrontational and open way. To give you the opportunity to express how you are interpreting what is happening and how it makes you feel and for him to express what this is about for him. Once you have clarity you are in a space to discuss how as a couple you will deal with this, from a place of mutual understanding.
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