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Question
Posted by: Mummy | 2012/06/21

Is My 8 yr old just seeking attention?

Hi CS,

I have an 8yr old, who I have been worried about. She sometimes struggles when we do homework, and I know that these are things she knows already. Last night i was telling hubby that she seems to be struggling this year as compared to last year.

How wrong I was. I attended the awards day this morn &  guess who got an award for outstanding work in all subjects. I was exceptionally proud of her. I spoke to the teacher thereafter and collected the school report and the teacher said my child is a wonderful student and has no problems with anything. She has an excellent report.

Now she does have twin siblings that are 18mths old. I am wondering whether she pretends not to understand things, just so that I spend all my time trying to explain &  teach her in the evenings?

She is in general a happy, talkative child, who is always singing and dancing around the house. She did in the past complain that she felt no one worried about her anymore &  she felt left out. We had a heart to heart talk &  I reassured her that she is loved equally and she will always be special as she is our 1st born. She loves taking care of her siblings and I do allow her to help out. I have also encouraged her to spend time with me when I cook and ask her to do things for me, which she enjoys.

She does tend to have a bit of attitude and can get very sulky when she gets angry. She also cries when she doesn''t get her way sometimes. I

Is this just normal behaviour, or should I perhaps consult a psychologist?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I agree with Maria. Congratulations on having such an academically excellent child ! You may be right that she really enjoys the time she spends with you, but if it is defined as based on you helping her with learning difficulties, then she would feel the need to have some difficulties to facilitate the chat she enjoys. Maye it clear to her that the time will remain available to her for discussing homework IF there are any problems she experiences with her homework, but you understand that she's doing so well at school that she might not often need that - and that then, you're very happy to just spend the time with her any way you would both enjoy together.
She sounds like a bright, loving and normal child.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2012/06/21

Entirely normal. Trust your parenting instincts, we really don''t need professionals for every little thing. Could simply be that she is tired by the time you get to homework and then can''t perform - this happens to my child too and she has no siblings. Rather spend some quality time with her doing something other than schoolwork when you can.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/06/21

I agree with Maria. Congratulations on having such an academically excellent child ! You may be right that she really enjoys the time she spends with you, but if it is defined as based on you helping her with learning difficulties, then she would feel the need to have some difficulties to facilitate the chat she enjoys. Maye it clear to her that the time will remain available to her for discussing homework IF there are any problems she experiences with her homework, but you understand that she's doing so well at school that she might not often need that - and that then, you're very happy to just spend the time with her any way you would both enjoy together.
She sounds like a bright, loving and normal child.

Reply to cybershrink

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