advertisement
Question
Posted by: Floppy | 2012/09/24

Is looks really everything?!

Hi doc, I hope you are well this fine day.

I hope you can help me, or tell me how stupid I am being.

My husband is a very good man. He is very loving, helpful, funny, great with our baby... Basically the man of any womans dreams. He is also very good looking (although it''s not a path he chose to persue, he has done some modeling work).

His sister (my SIL) is a beautiful woman. She is currently in France modeling and she has been to Belgium, Germany, Italy, etc to model. But she generally is not a nice lady (she is the only girl out of her parents kids, you can understand she was treated like a princess).

Me? I could stand to lose a kilogram or 10, my hair is thin, I am covered in stretch marks, needed braces as an adult... Basically I am not exactly the kind of woman men want (although I consider myself to be a great wife and mother, hubby thinks so too). And I am not exaggerating- at school this
group of popular girls always used to want to " share their lunch"  with me, which always turned out to be dog food.


Here are my problems- my mother in law hates me. She considers me the reason my husband never went into modeling/ acting, she considers me the reason he''s not rich and famous, I''m the reason he''s not with some model living " the life"  and thus does not talk to me or spend time with our baby. It makes me feel really crappy, like just because I am not physically beautiful I am worthless. I''ve always believed looks aren''t everything, but after six years of the way I am treated, it really brings me down.

My other issue is that his friends always talk about how hot his sister is. Not like I want to be desirable to his friends, but even when they talk about the other wives/ girlfriends in the group, well I get no positive mention. They (not knowing I was around the corner) once asked my husband what is he doing with me. Bless him, my hubby defended me but he shouldn''t have to. A girl once asked my friend (before I got the braces) how can he love me with such scew teeth.

Am I being a complete idiot?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I agree entirely with Maria here. Your husband is lucky enough to have a great wife. You.
Your sister-in-law, like unfortunately many models, sounds like a vain, empty, superficial and silly person. One day, before long ( her looks will never last ) she will discover that she is nobody's Princess, and will find this devastating. YOU are FAr far more the sort of real women sensible men want, than she is.
Your husband would never have become rich and famous as a model, and instead has a happy marriage and a good and lasting job. Your mother-in-law is a silly woman, too, and living her own shallow dreams through the temporary and trivial successes of her daughter, to make up for her own sense of failure.
Dont allow her problems to cause problems for you. If she is foolish enough not to enjoy spending time ith you, then you have lost nothing. You have been listening too attentively to this bitter and twisted old woman. I wonder what she'll do when her daughter's superficial attractiveness fades, and her small career fades too ?
But discuss these concerns calmly with yourn husband. He chose you from all the other more empty alternatives, but maybe doesn;t know how hurt you are by his mother's prejudices and his friends nastiness. Maybe tou both need some new friends ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/25

I agree entirely with Maria here. Your husband is lucky enough to have a great wife. You.
Your sister-in-law, like unfortunately many models, sounds like a vain, empty, superficial and silly person. One day, before long ( her looks will never last ) she will discover that she is nobody's Princess, and will find this devastating. YOU are FAr far more the sort of real women sensible men want, than she is.
Your husband would never have become rich and famous as a model, and instead has a happy marriage and a good and lasting job. Your mother-in-law is a silly woman, too, and living her own shallow dreams through the temporary and trivial successes of her daughter, to make up for her own sense of failure.
Dont allow her problems to cause problems for you. If she is foolish enough not to enjoy spending time ith you, then you have lost nothing. You have been listening too attentively to this bitter and twisted old woman. I wonder what she'll do when her daughter's superficial attractiveness fades, and her small career fades too ?
But discuss these concerns calmly with yourn husband. He chose you from all the other more empty alternatives, but maybe doesn;t know how hurt you are by his mother's prejudices and his friends nastiness. Maybe tou both need some new friends ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2012/09/24

He CHOSE to be with YOU, didn''t he? Clearly he loves you, all of you - looks, personality, style, sense of humour, compassion, emotional maturity etc. etc. It sounds as if the rest of his family are very shallow and immature, as are his friends. Be kind to yourself. Love who you are, clearly your husband does. If you want to e.g. lose a bit of weight then do it for YOURSELF, not because of what other people think. I will choose someone who is beautiful inside as a friend over someone whose beauty is only skin deep, every time.

Reply to Maria

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement