Posted by: iNbEtWeEn | 2008-11-11

Is long distance relationships worth it

Hi i am dating my " best friend"  for the past 2 years and we' ve been friends for the pat 10 years we just decided to give it a try,we are in a long distance realtionship and somehow its not working out as planned we agreed on seeing each other once amonth or even once every 2 months,sad part is i am dating myself he never visits me,my family lives in the same city as him and i have no choice but to go home problem is whenever i do he gets the impression its because of him,i' ve decided to chnge my visits to my family thinking it would teach him a lesson or two but noooo way it does not bother him,my firends say he is a waste of time and i' m starting to believe it he just never visits and whenever i ask him when i will see him again he replies " dnt start"  i mean it hurts i would like to spent some time with him alone and away from our families but thats impossible,i really cant take this anymore why does he have to get angry whenever i ask hm when he is going to visit me other thin i forgot to mention is that he s insanely jealous i even thought of cheating on him in order to make myself feel better but i just cant bring myself to it,why does it have to be so hard.

I really dnt know what to do or say to him anymorei just fel like giving up,thing is i love him dearly but he just does not play his part in coming over to my place i have to travel long hours to get home but he cant even do the same for me not even once a month not even on a weekend,i am really fed up someone please help me.

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Our expert says:
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If this relationship were not long-distance, wouldn't it seem non-existent or unpromising ? Don't make too many excuses for a failing relationship simply because it is long-distance. As Sg says, long-distance relationships CAN work, but they need hard work by BOTH parties, and you can't do it alone

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Our users say:
Posted by: hope | 2008-11-11

love, even close proximity relationships have issues with spending time together how much more a long distance. if your already having issues and are frustrated about him not coming to see you, best you let it goand move on with you life. you cant always be the one making it work.he has to do his part of get out. else this will be your life an im sure you know you deserve better.

Reply to hope
Posted by: Sg | 2008-11-11

Long distance relationships rarely work.Of course there are exceptions but it requires serious work by both parties BUT how do you really get to know that person when you only see them for short periodical visits !

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Posted by: expert | 2008-11-11

I' ve ben in a long distance relationship for 6 years, and my man &  I are now happily married. It works for some, but not for others. If the couple wants the relationship to work, there needs to be effort from both sides.

I couldn' t afford to always fly up to see him, so he used to come see me all the time. My situation was opposite of yours. His family was where I was, so he used to find it difficult to balance his time spent with family, friends and me. But somehow it works.

Like almost mad says, if he doesn' t have a good reason for not being able to come see you, then he' s probably just wasting your time.

Reply to expert
Posted by: almost mad | 2008-11-11

Hi, I have been in long distance and it wasnt worth it in the end for me. But everuone is different. If it is a case of him not having money to visit you then you should understand...but if he has no excuse then he seems to be wasting your time. I suggest telling him if he isnt that into the relationship then he needs to say it in plain english instead of wasting your time. Dont let him guilt trip strong and stand your ground. Some people can go for long without being together, and some people need that constant contact. Go with what you need and you wil have your answer.

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