Posted by: Rudi | 2009-02-20

Is it possible?

My wife (59) had a serious affair with another man for 2.5 years before I caught her two months ago. She now wants to save our marriage. She tells me she can' t remember when last she thought of him. He is, according to her, forgotten. Is it possible to forget a lover so soon? I don' t believe so.

She also told me that if her lover' s wife divorced her she knows that he would still want her (my wife) back. Isn' t that just part of her wishes? Surely it must be reason for concern.

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Our expert says:
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Forgetting in such a simplistic and convenient way is unlikely ; surely she remembers him, who he is and whatever happened. Maybe she means that he no longer means anything significant for her, in the present or for the future. Wouldn't marriage counselling be a wise idea, and a suitable forum within which to expllore such issues ?

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