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Question
Posted by: Liza | 2010-09-14

Is it normal, or is it a warning sign?

I''m getting annoyed very easily. Last week, just before leaving for work, my sister dropped her son off as usual so that grandma can take him to school. Then she asked my brother whether he could borrow her R50 since she forgot her petrol card at home and would be late for work if she had to go and fetch it. (She would have had to drive the whole 800 meters back to her house - which is incidentally in the same direction as her workplace) He didn''t have any cash on him and so he asked me whether I couldn''t borrow her the money. I said - sorry, I don''t have R50. So my mother gave me this dirty look and asked me to look in my wallet. I didn''t have R50, but I did have my R30 lunch money for the day. I then told them that it was my lunch money. My mother gave me this dirty look as if to say - you better give it or else. Now I''ve been the recipient of that look before. And I also know what the ''or else'' is. Usually the ''or else'' means that my mom is going to lie like the pro that she is, and make life exceedingly difficult for me. In the past she''s lied to my psychiatrist and psychologist to such an extent that they stopped believing me, believed every lie she told them and then I had to find a new psychiatrist and psychologist! I just simply cannot trust a doctor if he/she doesn''t believe the truth.

And I''m still waiting after a week for my sister to return my money. My brother still owes me R100 too from last month when he got paid two days late and didn''t have money for petrol and oil. This morning I asked him about it - and he said Sorry - don''t have the money. Will have to wait till his next payday. Now my son and I have to go without and that royally pi$$es me off. Why do I always have to ASK for my money to be returned? I just don''t get it back unless I ask and I truly hate asking because I never know when I''m going to get crapped out for wanting what is mine...

On the flip side, I''m getting phenomenal amounts of work done. This morning my boss came to me to discuss my current task since it''s a rather difficult one. He started with telling me where I should start - I showed him that it was exactly where I had started and that I had progressed much further than what he had expected. He left with the closing remark that he obviously didn''t have to worry and that I''m doing great on my own. Nice boost to my self-esteem, but my whole situation makes me think that I''m in a manic period. And a manic period is usually followed by a severe depressive episode. To make things worse - this is usually the time of year when I''m prone to depressive episodes.

My mother has also started nagging me to stop taking my meds again. She heard about this book written by a bipolar woman who didn''t need medication anymore, so she wants me to buy this book and stop drinking my meds. I just don''t have the energy to tell her to go stuff herself - because she is ALWAYS right and she will continue arguing with me until I give up and pretend to agree with her just to stop the arguing. The constant nagging however is really wearing me down. I can''t move out yet, because I can''t afford it yet - I''m still saving up for a deposit. Most of the time I just hide out in my room with the door locked. I don''t even watch tv anymore because if she finds me out of my bedroom, she starts with her crap again. Either nagging me to death, or by telling a whopper of a lie and then picking a fight because she knows it is a lie, but she will never admit it - even when I have actual physical evidence that would stand up in a court of law!

I guess that I just need to vent right now. It feels like things are getting to be just a bit too much and I really don''t know how I should handle things.

Thanx for listening
Liza

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why does your mom not use that gorgon Look on those who owe money to YOU ? Anyhow, you know your mom, whatever may be loveable about her, knows NOTHING whatever about bipolar disorder or indeed mental well-being, and can reliably be ignored when she has anything to say about that. Don't waste energy giving her anatomical instructions as to where to store her advice - just perfect the method so many husbands and wives use, convincingly saying : "Uh-huh" and "Really ?" from time to time to simulate listening. let it flow past you like a small muddy stream, while your mind watches TV, or thinks about your project, or whatever.
Similarly with her lies. Just pretend to have been suitably impressed, without even paying attention to what they are. She is probably the only person alive who actually believes her stories, anyway
Maybe a mood down-swing is approaching, maybe not. While your moderate high is practical and useful, enjoy it. If a depression should start up, you know how to handle it.


The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: two-stone | 2010-09-14

Liza, firstly, well done for getting rid of your frustration in a positive way by writing about it. I too have a thing about people borrowing money from me and not paying it back. I now make sure I NEVER have money in my wallet when I am with certain people (transfer it to my pockets when I know I am going to be with them) and always take out my wallet when they ask and show them whilst saying I am sorry, have nothing on me. Works very well and the asking has diminished quite considerably. I know it is a lie etc., but sometimes it is the only way, and to keep the peace. My Mother-in-Law makes up terrible stories. They which normally start because of some small incident, which seems to grow in her mind and she ends up believing these fabrications " as God is her witness"  and tells to all and sundry, with no cares about who she is hurting/destroying in the process. Anyway, looks like I am starting to vent as well now, whereas I just wanted to give you some encouragement! All the very best to you - I think you are a very level-headed and strong woman.

Reply to two-stone
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-09-14

Why does your mom not use that gorgon Look on those who owe money to YOU ? Anyhow, you know your mom, whatever may be loveable about her, knows NOTHING whatever about bipolar disorder or indeed mental well-being, and can reliably be ignored when she has anything to say about that. Don't waste energy giving her anatomical instructions as to where to store her advice - just perfect the method so many husbands and wives use, convincingly saying : "Uh-huh" and "Really ?" from time to time to simulate listening. let it flow past you like a small muddy stream, while your mind watches TV, or thinks about your project, or whatever.
Similarly with her lies. Just pretend to have been suitably impressed, without even paying attention to what they are. She is probably the only person alive who actually believes her stories, anyway
Maybe a mood down-swing is approaching, maybe not. While your moderate high is practical and useful, enjoy it. If a depression should start up, you know how to handle it.


Reply to cybershrink

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