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Question
Posted by: Marlene | 2010/02/23

Is it my place?

I work in a home office. My boss’ s wife is sometimes very mean to and about the domestic worker. She’ ll shout at her and sometimes ask her mean questions like, “ are you deaf?”  and say sarcastic things to her. When the bosses wife is in the office she’ ll complain about the domestic, like yesterday she kept saying the domestic is a moron because one of the OTHER ladies closed to passage door (leading into the office) closed so the dogs couldn’ t get into the office and the dogs barked ONCE and my boss kept saying over and over how much of a moron the domestic is because the dogs were in the passage. She even said to the dogs in the passage so the domestic could hear that the dogs must learn how to say moron to the domestic. I mean this lady has been working for my boss and his wife (no kids, just them two and the two dogs) for 15 years, she works Saturdays, she works from 07:30 to 16:30 with no lunch break and my bosses wife is so mean to her. She’ ll sometime say how useless she is (not to her face of course) and when she’ s really in a bad mood then she’ ll complain to my boss about her getting fired. I know my boss’ s wife tries to be some high society woman (going for lunch, watching T.V. during the day, always buying things while her husband works all day and all night to earn the money) but it doesn’ t mean that she can look down on people all the time. Can I say something to her or isn’ t it my place?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Guys, I did warn you, twice, that I would be forced to be unavailablem throughtout Tuesday, as our reliably incompetent City Council was switching off our electricity for the day for "maintenance " which lasted twice as long as they promised, and asked for messages rather to be posted on Wednesday, but I guess these matters were all too urgent to wait.
NOW -
What a thoroughly horrible woman you are describing. A spoilt brat who doesn't deserve any of her unearned good fortune. Sounds like if you raised this with her, it would not improve the lot of the domestic who might even be made to suffer more, and you'd just be aded to her hit list. Would there be any point in gently raising these concerns with her husband ?
The domestic may well have formed the wisdom to recognize that the nasty comments from this ceature mean nothing more than the barking of the dogs.
If you phones Dept of Labour, I wonder if they could help in this sort of siuation ?

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2010/02/24

Better u than me,i would have been fired by now but she would have got a complete piece of my mind.She is also not working acc to basic conditions of employments act.she is entitled to lunch,leave and uif
Contributions.

Anyway i think speak to your boss and tell him it makes you un comfortable and u''d appreciate working in a friendly,healthy enviroment.

U sound as if u will blow up oneday if u keep this bottled up.

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/24

Guys, I did warn you, twice, that I would be forced to be unavailablem throughtout Tuesday, as our reliably incompetent City Council was switching off our electricity for the day for "maintenance " which lasted twice as long as they promised, and asked for messages rather to be posted on Wednesday, but I guess these matters were all too urgent to wait.
NOW -
What a thoroughly horrible woman you are describing. A spoilt brat who doesn't deserve any of her unearned good fortune. Sounds like if you raised this with her, it would not improve the lot of the domestic who might even be made to suffer more, and you'd just be aded to her hit list. Would there be any point in gently raising these concerns with her husband ?
The domestic may well have formed the wisdom to recognize that the nasty comments from this ceature mean nothing more than the barking of the dogs.
If you phones Dept of Labour, I wonder if they could help in this sort of siuation ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Hmmmm | 2010/02/23

It''s sad really - but if you talk to her you might just turn her against you and she might try to get you fired as well. Surely the husband can see what is going on but he has decided to turn a blind eye.

She''s been working for them for 15 years - I think she has learned to not let it get to her. She probably just laughs inside and says " ow hear we go again" . Rather leave it I think.

Reply to Hmmmm
Posted by: Gracie | 2010/02/23

Don''t even try to broach the subject with this person - she is a mean and spiteful woman by the sounds of it and she will definitely try and get you into trouble with her husband should you say something to her. If you do decide to say something, I hope you don''t come off second best. Maybe you should approach your boss directly and speak to him about it. Good luck.

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Leez | 2010/02/23

She sounds completely and utterly like a spoilt b*tch who''s accustomed to having her way and the last say. I''d say you stand a good chance of coming off second best if you''re going to try and broach the topic. It''s worth a try though, at least you''d be content knowing you''re standing up for someone''s dignity. Good luck hun.

Reply to Leez

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