advertisement
Question
Posted by: Mandy | 2010/11/10

Is it important?

Hi, i have been dating my bf for the past 2 years, i wanted to know if me wanting some form of kind gesture or some form of affection is to much.
The reason being is that when we started dating he did many amazing things for me, now it has completely stopped.
I only see him on the weekends and when i do see him we do the same thing every single weekend, we go to the same restuarant, watch a movie and thats it. Its like he does not put any effort into this relationship, and he does not want to do anything special for me.
He would never call just to say say hello or check up on me, I recently has diagnosed with Leukemia and have been going for chemo, he does not phone to see how i am doing, he says he had no airtime, but somehow every month he buys expensive things, but never once did he get me flowers or even a kind sms.
the thing is that if i want to do anything or speak to him, i have to so the calling. it makes me feel like i am alone in this relationship.
I know this may sound really silly, but he wouldnt even say i love you unless i did. when i asked him why he does this, he said saying that is not mandatory.
I try so hard here because i love him but i feel he doesnt even notice i am there.
Its just his work and freinds. I need his support now, but his not doing that. when i asked him why he is like that, he said, thats the way he is, and he cant see why i expect more from him, coz he has never done anything different before.
What do i do, i feel do alone:(

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Obviously, wanting SOME sort of gesture of affection is highly reasonable. Wanting too much or too often, thoughm can be so needy as to frighten the average guy off.
Now, as you have been recently diagnosed with a serious illness and are undergoing an unpleasant treatment, that's very different - one would expect any friend, bf or otherwise, to show concern and attgention and kindness.
Some people, and especially men, find it surpisignly difficult to reveal their feelings or to say anything emotional.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Latoya | 2010/11/11

I was in that kind of relationship, yours is better because you go to restaurant, mine end up at my own bedroom where we make love, that is about it, the only time we will go out, is when i invited him to friends parties, but him inviting me no, it went on for almost 2 years, i had to sit down and wonder if i want this kind of relationship, i realised it is not worth it, as much as we enjoyed each other''s company, the relationship was not what i wanted.
All the time i have been contemplating to end the relationship but the love for this man was just so much for me that i couldnt get myself breaking off until monday, i told him the relationship is not working and i dont want to continue, i was hoping to hear him say no, will fix things, no instead, he told me he is not ready for commitment, but he will miss me, it hurts but i am hoping to get over it soon, i believe that i deserve to be loved.
In your situation, like CS said, you need all the love from your boyfriend

Reply to Latoya
Posted by: koos | 2010/11/11

i think get out if it,how it is going to be when you decide to marry,and it is already going on like this now.

Reply to koos
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/10

Obviously, wanting SOME sort of gesture of affection is highly reasonable. Wanting too much or too often, thoughm can be so needy as to frighten the average guy off.
Now, as you have been recently diagnosed with a serious illness and are undergoing an unpleasant treatment, that's very different - one would expect any friend, bf or otherwise, to show concern and attgention and kindness.
Some people, and especially men, find it surpisignly difficult to reveal their feelings or to say anything emotional.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement