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Question
Posted by: mikky | 2011/02/23

Is it healthy to be in this relationship? @ Cybershrink

CS - Im a bit concerned that you think 33 and 36 are ''too old'' to be considering children, for the childrens sake!

Do you really feel 33 and 36 is too old???

Im turning 33 and my partner is 36 and we are still planning on getting married and having kids ....

I understand that for medical reasons it gets more difficult as you get older... But if you read the research, more woman are having children in their 30s than ever before. Society has shifted in this regard due to careers etc.

Are you sure on your view here? I get what you were telling her about the relationship and having kids in an unhealthy relationship. But Im not sure about the age thing.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not too old, but rather old. Not a reason not to do so, but a reason to think about all aspects of such a decision.
There are two aspects - the risk to mother and developing child increase as the mother's age goes above 30, especially over 35 ; and the other part is that as one becomes older and more set in one's way oflife, the sheer amount of additional work and sleep loss caused by having an infant and then a child, is often more than people expect, and may be hard to cope with.
That socialy more women are postponing the bearing of children does seem to be a fact in Westernized societies - that doesn't mean it's automatically a great idea. In recent years, women tend to drink far more than before, for instance, which is not particularly good for their health.
I se "the age thing" as a factor that needs to be carefully thought about, rather than an absolute obstacle

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011/02/23

I totally agree with CS.

Thank God I had my kids young !! I could NEVER cope with teenagers now.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/23

Not too old, but rather old. Not a reason not to do so, but a reason to think about all aspects of such a decision.
There are two aspects - the risk to mother and developing child increase as the mother's age goes above 30, especially over 35 ; and the other part is that as one becomes older and more set in one's way oflife, the sheer amount of additional work and sleep loss caused by having an infant and then a child, is often more than people expect, and may be hard to cope with.
That socialy more women are postponing the bearing of children does seem to be a fact in Westernized societies - that doesn't mean it's automatically a great idea. In recent years, women tend to drink far more than before, for instance, which is not particularly good for their health.
I se "the age thing" as a factor that needs to be carefully thought about, rather than an absolute obstacle

Reply to cybershrink

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