Our expert says:
You are both, as you know, a bit old to be starting a family and having children, for the children's sake. Presumably you knoew this is how he felt, for the whole 8 years and 5 years of marriage ? If he doesn't feel you're a stable couple after all this time, he probably will never feel this. What puzzles me is why this seems to be something ( his anti-having-children attitude ) which you have newly discovered.
You may well be staying in the relationship out of habit ( it IS a major disruption to end it and move on, let alone to try to start again ).
Maybe seeing a counsellor would help you to clarify your thinking about what you most want and how best to get it
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