Our expert says:
Interesting how often people want a label for a condition or situation. The details you later provide make it clearer what more specific situation you're talking about.
Where there is marital conflict or problems, marriage counselling is always adviseable before deciding to end the relationship. But where the partner is not prepared to do so, or to sincerely work on the marriage, it is effectively over. Usually then, the best step for all involved is to consider divorce.
People often recide to postpone that "for the sake of the children", and the sense of this depends on what is left of the marriage. If it is boiled in bitterness, recriminations, storms and silences, that's really not beneficial for the children, especially if a more amicable separation can be arranged, and the children can share time with each parent, each of whom could be happier and more content.
If the remaining relationship can be polite and maybe even affable, then it can make sense to delay a separation if the children face major challenges at school, etc.
At least the man you describe is being open and honest in telling his wife what is happening, and presumably he is being seisible about proper health precautions. He is "not thrilled" by her refusal to include sex within her relatiomnship with him, and her refusal to be helped by an expert to improve this sad situation ; and she is "not thrilled" by his alternative arrangement - but other than utter celibacy, presumably she has no suggestion.
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