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Question
Posted by: rh | 2010/10/28

is it cheating

If I fantasize about a colleague?

And if those fantasies lead to cybersex?

We are both in relationships

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Fantasizing, while it remains strictly within your head, though many people consider it to be cheating, it probably not so. Just as fantasizing about taking a machine-gun to the noisty neighbours is not quite the same as mass murder.
Its not clear what you mean by cybersex - it it means you enjoying porn on the web, that's also not quite cheating ( though it lies on the same path ) ; if it proceeds to explicitly sexual chat-rooms and so on, that's further down the path.
Its also not clear from your message, but it sounds as though the other person, the colleague, is not aware of this or part of it ?
It sounds as though the jury's verdict is Cheating.
TO me, what matters much more, is that you are for whatever reason not getting what you want out of your current relationship, and are seeking more in this currently unreal dabbling. What is needed is either to revise the current relationship, involving your partner there, with the assistance of couples counselling, so it is again mutually satisfying ; or if this relationship seems hardly worth all that effort, end it, and move on - but not to involve someone else in a current committed relationship.

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15
Our users say:
Posted by: Non Cheater | 2010/11/12

SUPER CHEATING

Reply to Non Cheater
Posted by: Mandy | 2010/10/30

CHEATING!!!!!!

Reply to Mandy
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/30

Fantasizing, while it remains strictly within your head, though many people consider it to be cheating, it probably not so. Just as fantasizing about taking a machine-gun to the noisty neighbours is not quite the same as mass murder.
Its not clear what you mean by cybersex - it it means you enjoying porn on the web, that's also not quite cheating ( though it lies on the same path ) ; if it proceeds to explicitly sexual chat-rooms and so on, that's further down the path.
Its also not clear from your message, but it sounds as though the other person, the colleague, is not aware of this or part of it ?
It sounds as though the jury's verdict is Cheating.
TO me, what matters much more, is that you are for whatever reason not getting what you want out of your current relationship, and are seeking more in this currently unreal dabbling. What is needed is either to revise the current relationship, involving your partner there, with the assistance of couples counselling, so it is again mutually satisfying ; or if this relationship seems hardly worth all that effort, end it, and move on - but not to involve someone else in a current committed relationship.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Me | 2010/10/29

Cheating (with a capital C)

Reply to Me
Posted by: Liz | 2010/10/29

Cheating

Reply to Liz
Posted by: Kate | 2010/10/29

Cheating

Reply to Kate
Posted by: Only me | 2010/10/29

Cheating...

Reply to Only me
Posted by: lizard | 2010/10/29

cheating

Reply to lizard
Posted by: Whena | 2010/10/28

Yip cheating

Reply to Whena
Posted by: POlice | 2010/10/28

its cheating. if you want to -|- around then -|- around but dont enter into a serious relationship with one person and still -|- around, thats pathetic

Reply to POlice
Posted by: jj | 2010/10/28

I dont think its cheating if that counts for anything... but if i was your boyfriend/girlfriend i wouldnt be happy about what your doing

Reply to jj
Posted by: just a thought | 2010/10/28

if you end your current relationships and then have cybersex then niether of you would need to worry about being unfaithful - easy really-problem solved

Reply to just a thought
Posted by: POlice | 2010/10/28

thats cheating, even if you have cyber sex and its all in your mind, ie no masturbation its still cheating in your heart with someone else, if you do masturbate and enjoy it then you may aswell just meet the person and -|- them because its the same thing.

if this has already happened then tell your partner, if your thinking about it then its simple, either you dont love your partner or you do, if you do dont do it.

Reply to POlice
Posted by: Flower Girl | 2010/10/28

I agree with Lego.

Reply to Flower Girl
Posted by: Lego | 2010/10/28

Cheating in my book

Reply to Lego

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