Our expert says:
By definition it is always best to do and say the "right" things, otherwise they wouldn't be "right". But its not often easy to be sure what the right thing is, at the time.
Now, it is not always best to tell people exactly what you think of them. Is it useful, let alone kind, to tell someone that they have a very large nose ? There's nothing they can do about it except feel bad, and its hardly their fault.
Lebelling by others shouldn't be a major consideration - some idiots are keen to abel anyone, and will probably label you whatever you choose to do. Look more at whether what you think should be done or said will improve the situation and the happiness of people, rather than the opposite of that.
But it depends so much on the situation - it's not a matter of showing how witty or even right you may be. And its a common observation what one often thinks of exactly the best thing to say, or the best way to say it, just afterwards. The French call these pensees d'escaliers, thoughts in the stairs, things you think of while leaving. Just learn so as to manage better next time. Rushin back in and blurting out the brilliant comment you thought of later, doesn't impress or help
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