Posted by: Carmen | 2009-03-05

Is it bad to have too much hope? ...

…  Because then you always end up disappointed. You hope and hope that things will change, and then you are just disappointed time after time after time. Your heart starts cracking and you battle to make it through the day without crying, but deep down you still have that hope and you’ re sad because you know that it’ s not going to work out the way you want it to. You can’ t let go because it’ s too hard and you are scared of what you’ ll lose, but you wish it will just all go away. You can’ t deal with the humiliation and you want to crawl under the blankets and stay there forever… . But you still have that hope. How do you deal with that?

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Our expert says:
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Its not the quantity of hope, but its focus that matters. However much I might choose to hope to be part of the next SA Olympic team, it will absolutel definitely not happen. If I chose to hope for it, I will inevitably be disappointed. And hope alone is not enough, even if it is valuable as part of one's activity. If, as you seem to be discussing, we're talking of hope for change in a relationship, then that requires both parties to share the same hope or vision of how they want things to be --- and for BOTH of them, working together in marriage / couples counselling, to realistically work towards the shared goals. If your partner refuses to take part in such counselling, then individual counselling for yourself is the nest best, including realisticall assessing your options for your own best safety and happiness.
Hope without work doesn't get there ; work without hope is pointless.

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Our users say:
Posted by: becauseisaidso | 2009-03-05

hope will not kill you BS!

Reply to becauseisaidso
Posted by: Phil | 2009-03-05

Hope will kill you. Best is, to ban the past and move on. Not easy at all...

Reply to Phil
Posted by: pandoras tight little box | 2009-03-05

Hope is never a bad thing! (from the movie the Shawshank Redemption)

Reply to pandoras tight little box

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