Our expert says:
You know, how anyone else might define it, or what label they might attach to it, isn't really important. Someone who just gets rude when there's an argument, is immature, insecure, and unable to actually argue his point of view properly. Anger isn't enough of an excuse.
If he really gets so out of control when angry, this will cause problems at work and elsewhere, and he should see a shrink about anger control problems.
Does he really not understand how you could be upset by what he says ? If you said ( don't do it, but ask him about it ) similarly nasty things about him, would he just ignore them or brush them off, and feel nothing bas about it ?
It is abusive to feel in a sense entitled to be cruel to someone else, and to expect them not to be offended by this.
These are inadequate excuses, and sound less intended to satisfy you, than to satisfy himself that he need not bother to change. Don't go ahead and marry such a person, at least not till that have worked properly with a shrink to set this right
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