Posted by: Angel | 2012-11-19

is it a wise decision


im currently staying with my partner for 6 yrs now and have 2 kids of which one is not his,we fight a lot lately and he always tells me that my conversations i useless,the relationship is not going anywhere and last week while visiting his brother''s house after he had some few drinks(alcohol)he said that he wont marry me and of which it was not the first time he said it.He is 40(divorcee) and im 29.I have threatehed to leave him many times but i didnt because im already in debts after taking out loans to help us survive because he was also in debts.We had another argument today and like always he told me that my suggestions are useless,im stupid and i dont think properly.I really feel that i cant take it anymore and not sure where to start as im thinking my kids will be caught in the disaster and might be disturbed about the whole breaking up thing.

Any advise will be appreciated as i dont wanna be depressed again and admitted.

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Our expert says:
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Sometimes relationships are going nowhere, because the pair of you didn't choose a destination - that's like getting into a car and driving, without deciding where you're going TO.
Also, I find often in the type of situation you describe, it's hard to see why they guy WOULD decide to marry you - he already has every benefit he'd want from marrying you, without the disadvantages, commitment and costs. Sounds also like you have trapped yourself in the situation by taking out loans ( which YOU owe ) to help deal with HIS debts. It really doesn't sound as though he respects you, does it ? Kids don't respond well to continuing conflict - a separation that STOPS conflict and the quarrelling they see round the home, can be a relief to them, and not necessarily damaging for them

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Posted by: ANN | 2012-11-20


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