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Question
Posted by: Dinny | 2008/07/15

Is he ready for Commitment or not?

I am 33 yrs old & my boyfriend is 32. We are together for a year now.
I have been through a lot with men, especially those who never wanted to settle down & were always cheating on me.
When i met this guy, i was honest with him from day one. we asked each other what we wanted or expect from this relationship.
I told him i want commitment, one day i want to settle down , get married & have children. I told him i want a family with my whole heart & if he is not what he wants or not sure then we should just be friends & not start a relationship.
He said its what he wants too, but we should take one step a time. The relationship has been going well so far, i haven't had any problems with other women, we always together.

We went for an HIV test, after six months of dating, just to comfortable with each other & to seal our relationship.
I asked him about a baby after the test & he said he is not financially ready, which was true.
Now we both got new jobs which are paying well.
When i asked him about having a child on my 33rd birthday, he said "HELL NO" I don't want any dublicate of me running around & i am still studying, which is going to take another 2 yrs.

I was stund, i don't know if he is saying i must wait until im 35 to try have a child or not, he is not talking about marriage or anything.
A friend of his called him to tell him the wife is pregnant, he congradulated the friend & said to him, he just doesn't see himself with kids running around anytime soon.

He wasn't aware im listening. We don't use protection, so when he cums he takes it outside, and now i feel like he is becoming just too extra careful & this is bothering me.

What do u think?

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Our expert says:
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SOunds like he sais whatever he needed to so as to start the relatonship with you, which now just suits him fine, without children ( and he's forgetting that there are added risks to the mother and child when one aims at later pregnancies. Maybe he's now showing himself in his true light, and doesn't actually want to be a father ?

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