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Question
Posted by: Albaq | 2012/05/14

Is he not that into me? or is he?

Greetings - I have been seeing this guy for about 7 months, we are sex buddies, but we do go out for dinner and movies and occassionaly go to the theatre and concerts together, he has a " friend"  as he calls her in another country and he has been seeing for nine years now but has told me that he will never marry her and that he will never committ to her, yet he buys her expensive jewerly for her birthday and goes to see her at least 4 - 5 times during the year. Every night he sends me an sms saying good night and every morning sends me a good morning, anyway she is currently here for a visit and when he is normally with her I don''t usually hear from him, but yesterday he phoned me to wish me a happy mothers day and last night still sent me a good night and I got a good morning this morning, I find it odd and last Sunday I was with thim and he told me that he feels very comfortable and relaxed with me, not sure what that means, it is very confusing, I have backed off but he still sends me messages every night and every monring, as I am begining to develop feelings for him and don''t want to tell him how I feel as we have a very good friendship, this may sound very confusing, but I am extremely confused - help?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I really suspect that a guy who has found a willing and cooperative "sex buddy" doesn't need to be "into" you emotionally - he already has the benefits. That he feels relaxed with you is good for him at least. Maybe it implies he feels less so with her ?
Yes, you do sound confused - apparently this began as a friendly sex pals relationship with an implied agreement not to develop feelings for each other, but that's actually incredibly hard to achieve, especially for women, and clearly you already are developing affectionate feelings for him, and feeling more possessive and even jealous.
Face the facts of what's achievable and what's not. He;s probably content with what he has, but you've begun wanting more. You probably won't get more from him.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/14

I really suspect that a guy who has found a willing and cooperative "sex buddy" doesn't need to be "into" you emotionally - he already has the benefits. That he feels relaxed with you is good for him at least. Maybe it implies he feels less so with her ?
Yes, you do sound confused - apparently this began as a friendly sex pals relationship with an implied agreement not to develop feelings for each other, but that's actually incredibly hard to achieve, especially for women, and clearly you already are developing affectionate feelings for him, and feeling more possessive and even jealous.
Face the facts of what's achievable and what's not. He;s probably content with what he has, but you've begun wanting more. You probably won't get more from him.

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