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Question
Posted by: Flower 1980 | 2009/12/18

Is he cheating on me

I' ve been married for 6 years but now I don' t love him anymore and as much as possible I try not to have sex with him, cause it does' nt do anything for me.I feel no connection with him. Now we have been staying in our new house for the last 6 months and I am thinking of divorce but he wont move. The problem is last year I got an sms on his phone from a lady and I chatted with this lady as if I am him.As the conversation went along she realised it was' nt hubby chatting and she sms back say ( I think this is you wife smsing me) and she wanted him to booke a hotel room for them, I confronted him, he said no it is' nt left there and believe him. This year I got video clips on his phone with a woman playing with herself, confronted him and he said that its just recordings, he lied cause I know I could she its someone sitting on a toilet pot and playing with herself. Last week it was their staff party, he came home drunk, I went through his phone, a girl sms him asking him ( hi how are you, I am so drunk I want have sex) this so straight forward. I f someone can sms a man like that would you say that they had sex already from a female' s point of view.We don' t sleep in one room only when he wants sex, and I don' t what he wants, but i have told him I don' t love him and that I am not sexually attracted to him anymore. I sort hate this man andwish that he would die, cause it would be so much easier than divorce cause he just wont leave me. Is this man cheating on me, I believe its possible cause when we have sex I just lie there. Eversince I found out about the sms my vagina just feels funny, as if its burning, I don' t know if its a mind thing. And I did send the girl ugly sms telling that I know and that I want to be her up and no response, I harressed her and now she change her number, and he told her not to answer me calls, why would he do that if his not guilty.But at home now his acting if everything is normal. What shoul I do

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What you found on his phone is indeed highly suggestive of infidelity ( and of someone being very careless about it, to leave such evidence for you to find ). It is understandable that you have lost interest in having sex with him if you know him to be cheating, and you may be feeling physically odd due to concern about the possibility that he might infect you with some sort of STD picked up in his infidelity. A GP checkup may be helpful for you to reasure yourself about your own physical health.
Would he nsider joining you in marrriage counselling ? He can hardly argue that everything is marvellous within the marriage. Are there more senior members of the family he might listen to, who you could discuss the situation with ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Morgan | 2009/12/18

i am sorry to hear about the things you have had to go through. it is not right and you deserve a happy life.

Reply to Morgan
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/12/18

What you found on his phone is indeed highly suggestive of infidelity ( and of someone being very careless about it, to leave such evidence for you to find ). It is understandable that you have lost interest in having sex with him if you know him to be cheating, and you may be feeling physically odd due to concern about the possibility that he might infect you with some sort of STD picked up in his infidelity. A GP checkup may be helpful for you to reasure yourself about your own physical health.
Would he nsider joining you in marrriage counselling ? He can hardly argue that everything is marvellous within the marriage. Are there more senior members of the family he might listen to, who you could discuss the situation with ?

Reply to cybershrink

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