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Question
Posted by: SIPHO | 2012/04/12

IS FLIRTING WRONG

Is flirting wrong? I flirt with this woman at work. We both have an understanding that its just play/comedy. But yesterday at the lunchroom people were saying to me that its wrong for us to flirt with each other in the office in front of others since we are both married. Now i don''t know whether they need to lighten up or whether i need to change.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm a psychiatrist, so I dont generally do Right and Wrong. But flirting, if serious rather than just a frivolous party game you could do in from of your spouse or wife ( or the woman's husband ) without her being upset, is not at all a good idea or a worthy behaviour for a married man or someone in a serious relationship. Another good test would be to ask would you be bothered if your spouse did the same thing to you ? If so, then it's not something you should do to her.
The comments of other people in the ofice shows that it makes other people uncomfortable. That you should take seriously, rather than just asking them to "lighten up" maybe you need to darken down a bit ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/14

I'm a psychiatrist, so I dont generally do Right and Wrong. But flirting, if serious rather than just a frivolous party game you could do in from of your spouse or wife ( or the woman's husband ) without her being upset, is not at all a good idea or a worthy behaviour for a married man or someone in a serious relationship. Another good test would be to ask would you be bothered if your spouse did the same thing to you ? If so, then it's not something you should do to her.
The comments of other people in the ofice shows that it makes other people uncomfortable. That you should take seriously, rather than just asking them to "lighten up" maybe you need to darken down a bit ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: ana | 2012/04/13

yes, if your wife were to say to you she does the same with another man, how would you feel,
remember

EVERY ACTION HAS A CONSEQUENCE

Reply to ana
Posted by: SIPHOS WIFE!!!!!!!!!! | 2012/04/12

lt is not okay to flirt in the office, or anywhere else.
U R MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to SIPHOS WIFE!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/04/12

Why not direct your question to your spouse, l am sure she will give you the answer 2 your question.
After doing so seek confirmation with your collegues spouse who will also give you the correct answer.

But seriously - you know this is wrong. lt is also clearly career limiting........................

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Maria | 2012/04/12

How does your spouse and hers feel about it? Would you do it in front of them? How would you feel if you knew you wife was flirting with other men at her work? If it truly doesn''t bother any of you then I guess it''s ok. Just be aware that you may be contravening your company''s sexual harassment policy, and depending on the environment you work in it''s not very professional. If you''re making the other people in your office uncomfortable then my advice would be to stop doing it.

Reply to Maria

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