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Question
Posted by: Butterfly1982 | 2010/08/27

Is depression really an illness that you can''t snap out of and how to tell your partner that you are on anti depressants?

Thank you for your very quick and extensive answer. I hope you''''ll indulge me to ask for more information/help.

I''''ve been in a long distance relationship since January this year and am moving closer to be with this guy next year. Our relationship is extremely open and it is going so well. My ''''problem'''' is that I want to tell him about my depression and the fact that I am on anti depressants but am afraid that he''''ll see me differently and not as the strong independent woman he sees now. We have a child together, he''''ll turn 5 next year. When i spoke to my doctor she did say that I''''ll first have to convince myself that depression is not ''''bad'''' and that it is actually an illness that you can''''t just snap out of. Thing is I don''''t know how to convince myself of this as there is SO much controversy about the subject and I don''''t know what to believe anymore. I really feel the need to tell him about this before I move in with him next year. Any comments?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you can "snap out of it" it isn't depression.
Obviously nobody's mood stays the same all the time ( how boring that would be !) and everybody gets a bit blue now and then and they can indeed snap out of that.
Depression is a basicall chemical problem that occurs very commonly. Even in strong independent women ( and men ). And medication can help significantly - and sensible people of course use the medicine that helps them, just as only a really foolish diabetic would refuse insulin. It's not their fault they need it.
I spend all day on the web, and have seen absolutely NO controversey or discussion suggesting that Depression is not a "real" illness - only idiots or people with some personal axe to grind, deny that fact. They're dinosaurs like those who deny the reality of HIV and AIDS.
Depression is fully as much of a genuine illness as diabetes, appendicitis, or ingrown toenails.
Your doc may be very right, that the real problem is that YOU don't yet believe this, and somehow feel guilty about having become ill.
While YOU feel like this, you will find it hard to decide how to confess such a dreadful shame to him, and you will expect him to be outraged. Once you understand your own illness, and accept, it won't be hard to discuss with your friend, and he is most likely to understand.
So convince yourself, first.
Depression is very unpleasant indeed : Agreed ? So if you could just "snap out of it" - who would not choose to do so ? Why on earth would you not have snapped right out of it ages ago ? Because it's not snap-outable.
Yes, it would be wise to tell him about this before you get together - that's only fair, and it's not a disgraceful secret, simply a fact, like the colour of your hair or eyes. If he has any real problem about this, he's the wrong man for you ( or any other strong and sensible woman ).

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/27

If you can "snap out of it" it isn't depression.
Obviously nobody's mood stays the same all the time ( how boring that would be !) and everybody gets a bit blue now and then and they can indeed snap out of that.
Depression is a basicall chemical problem that occurs very commonly. Even in strong independent women ( and men ). And medication can help significantly - and sensible people of course use the medicine that helps them, just as only a really foolish diabetic would refuse insulin. It's not their fault they need it.
I spend all day on the web, and have seen absolutely NO controversey or discussion suggesting that Depression is not a "real" illness - only idiots or people with some personal axe to grind, deny that fact. They're dinosaurs like those who deny the reality of HIV and AIDS.
Depression is fully as much of a genuine illness as diabetes, appendicitis, or ingrown toenails.
Your doc may be very right, that the real problem is that YOU don't yet believe this, and somehow feel guilty about having become ill.
While YOU feel like this, you will find it hard to decide how to confess such a dreadful shame to him, and you will expect him to be outraged. Once you understand your own illness, and accept, it won't be hard to discuss with your friend, and he is most likely to understand.
So convince yourself, first.
Depression is very unpleasant indeed : Agreed ? So if you could just "snap out of it" - who would not choose to do so ? Why on earth would you not have snapped right out of it ages ago ? Because it's not snap-outable.
Yes, it would be wise to tell him about this before you get together - that's only fair, and it's not a disgraceful secret, simply a fact, like the colour of your hair or eyes. If he has any real problem about this, he's the wrong man for you ( or any other strong and sensible woman ).

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