Our expert says:
Apologies for the delay in responding, and Charl, apologies but I cannot answer adequately in Afrikaans, so I will have to respond in English.
I have read the responses from others and regret that they have taken such a negative tone. My understanding of what you are saying is that your wife says that a BJ is personal (and therefore not easily done) and that penetrative sex is less intimate... Please don't read anything into this as other respondents have suggested - it must be clarified with her and her alone. It may be related to the fact that the effort required in oral sex is more, it is something which requires active participation and she cannot 'switch off' during oral sex. This is not the case with penetration as she can perform with little effort if she is tired etc. This does not mean that she slept around necessarily. Another possibility is that she could have distanced herself from her genitals (as many women do) and so she might not feel as connected/active when it comes to 'seks' (penetration) as she would have to during oral sex (BJ). So check what she means by 'personal' and 'intimate' and make sure you really understand what SHE means if it is still worrying you.
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