Posted by: Rowan | 2011-03-31

is age really an issue?

I met a woman through a colleague of mine, problem is that she is older than me, but she is beautiful, intelligent, funny, young at heart and very sexy. I want to ask her out to dinner but I don''t know how to approach her. We have spoken a few times and she seems to enjoy my company. I am very quiet and shy around women especially older women. I almost feel intimidated by her. She is quite a few years older than me but the age difference doesn''t bother me and she definitely does not look her age. I was very surprised when I found out her age as she looks at least 15 years younger than she is. Is it as acceptable for younger men to date older women as it is for older men to date younger women? What has age got to do with it anyway? Any input would be appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not my area, but I'm sure other readers will be able to be helpful. Maturity ( yours and hers ) is more relevant than mere calendar age.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jack | 2011-04-06

Dont waste your time on someone so much older than you!
Think about your future and not just for now. Looks changes with time and so her libido. I was in a relationship with a woman 12years older than me, I wasted 2years of my life...

Reply to Jack
Posted by: Karen | 2011-04-02

My partner and I have an age difference of 16 years... It''s not a problem. I think the big thing with big age differences is that you must not be looking at the physical side of the relationship too much. You must be able to accept that the person you are with will age sooner than you do and you must be able to still love them just the same. You may get to a stage where she will start looking much older than you. If you really love her, it will not be a problem, but if it''s just a physical thing at the moment, remember that it will not last. And to be frank - you can''t cast a person aside just because they look old. It''s still the same person on the inside of an old body. You must have an emotional connection &  very good communication.

Reply to Karen
Posted by: Lola | 2011-04-01

I have been unfortunate or fortunate to have dated only people who are younger than me. I have always put a 5 year gap as the limit. Being in a relationship is beautiful, as much as you would like to keep it between the two of you, people will talk, siblings will talk, friends and family. It is also difficult to socialize with people not asking he is younger right? Or are you not older or even worse not being able to click with his friends as they are younger and a bit immature. It becomes very tricky but when it is just the two of you all is well…  Again it is difficult if the partner cannot get over how old you are …  Having said that, am not into older guys  my next boyfriend/hubby is going to be younger!

Reply to Lola
Posted by: Phil | 2011-04-01

Have to agree with you The Gap. But not even 20 years  even as little as 8 will be an issue sooner or later..

Reply to Phil
Posted by: The Gap | 2011-04-01

The age difference is relevant if the gap is say 20 years.
You are 20 she is 40. You are 40 she is 60. You are still young, fit and horny. She has passed menopause, full of aches and pains, flabby, wrinkled and droopy, or skin and bone. and continually tired.
Not good my friend. Think about it

Reply to The Gap
Posted by: La | 2011-04-01

I read your post over and over again and everytime, what springs out for me is repeated use of the physical. You say, for instance that she is...." beautiful" , " sexy" , " looks at least 15 years younger"  , " does not look her age" . Truth is that with time, the beauty, sexiness and looks will change, will she still be attractive to you then?

Reply to La
Posted by: Phil | 2011-04-01

The reality is. for a certain ammount of time it is fine/ BUT.

Lets say you are 7 years dififrent. When you were born she went to school. When you finished your last year in primary school she/he was finished with schools. Now betteen the late 20''s and mid 40''s things look fine, age doesn''t matter.

Now he/she starts looking like grandma/pa  and you still fine. He/She is just about in old age home  you still young enough with some years of enjoyment. Do''nt fool yourself  yeah it is a good trip for a limited period of time  and that is fact.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Glen | 2011-04-01

how old are u and your lady to be. go for it. there is no mountain to climb

Reply to Glen
Posted by: Me | 2011-04-01

I am 9 years older than my husband. We have been married for 5 years only, have a beautiful daughter and he finds me too sexy and adorable. Can''t keep his hands off me. So yes, so far so good and i know we gonna grow old together. Go for it!!!

Reply to Me
Posted by: . | 2011-03-31

Love is love, your fortunate if you can find it age doesn''t matter unless you make it matter. I had a girlfriend a few years back who was older than me and I ended it due to her age, one of the biggest mistakes i have made.

Reply to .
Posted by: Maria | 2011-03-31

I know a guy who is married to a woman old enough to be his mother. That''s a bit weird. But my mother-in-law is nine years older than my father-in-law and they''ve been happily married for more than 40 years. She told me once that lots of people said their relationship wouldn''t last because of their ages, and clearly those people were wrong. So go for it. In the end it is the two individuals in a relationship who decides what is right for them, and nobody can make that decision on their behalf.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Truth | 2011-03-31

Only u will know the answer to this. Ask her out to dinner and see if a relationship develops and if the age gap is an issue.If it is stop seeing one another.
Of course she may not want to dine with you at all, or find you in the least bit interesting, in which case you are worrying about nothing!

Reply to Truth

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