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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/04/19

Is age really a factor

I met a guy a month ago in the apartment block where I stay. About 2 weeks ago he came to place with a mutual friend. He is generally an introverted person but with me he opened up about everything, and since then we have been in touch almost on a daily basis. We really have a good friendship, no topic is a no-go area. Then I found out that he is 21 and I am 32. Wednesday he came to see me and we were talking until 11:30pm, yesterday he was over again and we talking for about 3hrs non-stop. He really is more mature than a lot of men I have dated or were friends with, i assume its because he had a rough childhood.Then when he left he kissed me. When he got home he called and spoke about the kiss and we decided that we will still be friends but have the other " benefits"  as we both not looking for relationships. I am concentrating on my child and career and he is establishing himself on the corporate ladder. We even went as far as having a verbal contract to stipulate the rules of our new friendship. Do you think that age is really a factor or am i fooling myself into thinking that he will stick to the rules.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maturity differences are often more probeltic than simple age diferences. Sounds like he might be a shy person now keen to have a friendship - rather than a love or sex relationship. Setting rules and limits, at least stating a shared concept of where your relationship is and is not going, might be helpful

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Our users say:
Posted by: Latoya | 2010/04/19

11 years difference is a big age gap, i agree with Anon2 that it will be a factor as time move on. few questions that you need to ask yourself if your relationship move on the another level, will you be able to introduce him to your friends, family, colleagues etc, will you be proud to be introduced to his family and friends, if you are comfortable, check if he will be.

Reply to Latoya
Posted by: Anon2 | 2010/04/19

Don''t want to disapoint you but age will become a factor, maybe it''s fine now but in 10-15 years from now (maybe sooner) if you get involved in a serious relationship, the age gap will be an issue, there tends to be less issues when the man is 10 years or so older, but when the women is older by 10 years that almost always ends in disaster. You decision but be careful

Reply to Anon2
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/19

Maturity differences are often more probeltic than simple age diferences. Sounds like he might be a shy person now keen to have a friendship - rather than a love or sex relationship. Setting rules and limits, at least stating a shared concept of where your relationship is and is not going, might be helpful

Reply to cybershrink

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