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Question
Posted by: Lesedi | 2011/11/17

Irritated

My hubby is just too much he goes through my personal staff while i''m not around and expect me to accept it, like yesterday he went through the documents that i was filling for the new job that i got.He started asking me of the witnesses that i choose to sign on those forms and his is also there as a spouse.

All those witnesses were ladies i would have understood if they were men, they when i say i only know the first witness and the second one is her colleague and i said the surname is Mabaso &  he said no Masimula i quickly took the forms and check the lady''s surname when i found he was correct i said anyway it does not matter because i do not know this person he said " you answer is rude and disrepecful when you said it does not matter"  i just think he is just too much checking to find things that are not there.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He seems to have a very rude, old-fashioned and paternalistic attitude towards marriage. He is not entitled, out of simple good manners if nothing else, to go through your papers or to interfere with your job application, for instance. Its one thing to offer to help IF YOU NEED IT AND WANT IT, and another to interfere for the sake of trying to show his authority.
I find i's a rule in life, that anyone who has to work so hard to try to demonstrate his authority, has none. He is being rude and highly disrespectful towards you.
If this is long-standing behaviour, maybe mariage counselling might help, but he'd probably not see it as necessary. Maybe his family could intervene, if they could recognize the problem and want to, and if he'd want to pay attention to them.
If this is recent behaviour, again, marriage counsellign might help. And one might observe that a spouse who suddenly developes unfair, unearned but deep suspicions of the other spouse's fidelity, is often in fact being unfaithful themselves.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/11/17

He seems to have a very rude, old-fashioned and paternalistic attitude towards marriage. He is not entitled, out of simple good manners if nothing else, to go through your papers or to interfere with your job application, for instance. Its one thing to offer to help IF YOU NEED IT AND WANT IT, and another to interfere for the sake of trying to show his authority.
I find i's a rule in life, that anyone who has to work so hard to try to demonstrate his authority, has none. He is being rude and highly disrespectful towards you.
If this is long-standing behaviour, maybe mariage counselling might help, but he'd probably not see it as necessary. Maybe his family could intervene, if they could recognize the problem and want to, and if he'd want to pay attention to them.
If this is recent behaviour, again, marriage counsellign might help. And one might observe that a spouse who suddenly developes unfair, unearned but deep suspicions of the other spouse's fidelity, is often in fact being unfaithful themselves.

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