Our expert says:
Most people find themselves utterly convincing, however warped they may actually be ! He sounds childishly unable to tolerate disagreement, which must be a very insecure position for him to place himself in. What you describe is a part of the broader "control freak" pattern, of feeling actually frighteningly insecure and over-defending oneself by trying to control everything obsessively, both what doesn't need to be controlled, and what can't be controlled.
He could be helped in therapy, but would probably reject that idea as including an admission that he might be less than ideal. Similarly, marriage counselling could help, but only if he accepted that the situation, including his behaviours, needed to be better understood and modified.
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