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Question
Posted by: Jacques | 2012-03-14

Iron deficiancy

My wife suffers from low iron levels. She now refuses to speak at night to me becuase she says she is too tired. I am not comfortable with her giving it her all at work and I may not chat to her at night because she''s ''tired''... She says it is unfair of me to expect from her to have conversations with me as it is a medical condition which she does not have control over... PLease help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

However tired or anaemic one may be, one is generally able to speak - and indeed, she can comment to you. But isn't the argument really about her feeling that you don't understand or sympathise with her anaemic tiredness ?
It is usually a medical condition, but her responsibility would be to see a good doctor, get properly assessed and diagnosed, take proper needed meds such as iron tablets, and eat a good diet. It should then be possible and practical for her to recover from the anaemia before long, and return to normal life.
In the meantime, some sympathy and encouragement from you would surely help to speed that recovery ? Isn't her work important in terms of contributing to the family income ? If so, and its important for her to keep her job, isn't it understandable that she'd try her hardest to keep up with the job's needs, and feel even more exhausted when she gets home ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: SMG | 2012-03-22

I''ve got low iron too and I can talk:), that''s my husband who doesn''t ,as most of men I guess and for women talking is the most important part in relationship , it is like giving attention and respect and love to each other and is needed in order to keep the relationship going. Was she always like that and it is just her nature but before she tried and now is too hard whilest very tired or she is just not interested in you anymore as interested in someone else or simply has stopped loving you or is she depressed.I think she should give you an answer or check her health in case she doesn''t know.Even if depressed it have musted be a severe case.So or your lady has something wrong with her heart or with her mind or she''s been always like this but you would know that(sometimes things seem to us as they are new but we just did not pay attention because busy with our life, can be also that).Once iron deficiency treatment is finished you will see where the problem lies:).

Reply to SMG
Posted by: kljkhl | 2012-03-15

So does this mean you also don''t f*ck..? she''s messing with u

Reply to kljkhl
Posted by: Megs | 2012-03-15

Liiiiiiiieeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have low iron and I fall asleep at 20:30 in the evenings but before the sleep gets me, I am more than happy to talk to my hubby. It does make you tired and grumpy, but really, not talking isn''t going to solve it. I am on an iron suppliment that seems like it is starting to work (my doc tells me it takes at least three months before it starts to work). Is she on anything? Yes, she can''t help having the iron problem but she sure can control it.

What does she do while you are not talking to her?

Reply to Megs
Posted by: Ronel | 2012-03-14

I too suffer from EXTREME iron deficiency. I take tablets called ChelaFer which sorts me out.
I am neverto tired to speak to my husband at any time of the day.
She is usingthis as an excuse for something else.

Reply to Ronel
Posted by: Liza | 2012-03-14

An iron deficiency can be controlled even if it can''t be cured. No control? I don''t think so. Are you sure she''s not having an affair? Because there seems to be a bigger underlying problem than her tiredness. Have you considered couples counseling? For a relationship to work, the partners must be able to communicate effectively and that isn''t happening here.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-03-14

However tired or anaemic one may be, one is generally able to speak - and indeed, she can comment to you. But isn't the argument really about her feeling that you don't understand or sympathise with her anaemic tiredness ?
It is usually a medical condition, but her responsibility would be to see a good doctor, get properly assessed and diagnosed, take proper needed meds such as iron tablets, and eat a good diet. It should then be possible and practical for her to recover from the anaemia before long, and return to normal life.
In the meantime, some sympathy and encouragement from you would surely help to speed that recovery ? Isn't her work important in terms of contributing to the family income ? If so, and its important for her to keep her job, isn't it understandable that she'd try her hardest to keep up with the job's needs, and feel even more exhausted when she gets home ?

Reply to cybershrink

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