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Question
Posted by: JT | 2010/09/06

Introvert vs. Extrovert

Hi there,

I have a bit of a problem in my relationship and don''t know how to deal with it.
I am an introvert and my b/friend an extrovert. He likes going out every weekend (Friday and Saturday) and would easily come home way after mid night.. Me on the other hand would rather spend time at home. It is not that I don''t like going out, but in moderation.

We fight about the same old story every weekend.

Please could you give me advise as how to find a common ground? and do you think that it is advisable that he goes out without me?

Thank you kindly.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Introvert / extrovert are of course summaries, and such a couple might either be so drastically different as to be unable to get along, or just sufficiently different to be complementary and enjoy the differences.
However, to me feeling a fierce need to have to go out every weekend night sounds more like lack of imagination, and lack of an ability to entertain oneself.
Can't you work out a compromise between you, with him spending some nights with you, or going out but to do something you choose and enjoy, and perhaps you going out socializing with him on some of his nights, so it's less something that he does without including you.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: spark | 2010/09/07

Extrovert and introvert relationships can defnitely work, I am an introvert and my husband is an extrovert, and we are making it work. But then it needs compromising from both parties. Why not suggest going out with him on weekends, but to places and with people that you feel comfortable with. And suggest one night at home, and maybe one night out?

My husband and myself has agreed that he understands my need to have some alone time with him and I understand his need to be out and around people. So we comprimise that way.

Reply to spark
Posted by: learn | 2010/09/06

intro and extro is a cute definition, but the truth is no matter how " extro"  a person is that does not mean they need to demonstrate it by going out all the time and being around lots of other people. what i am trying to say is that no matter how extreme an extrovert may be if they are truely in love they should have no difficulty sharing their extroverted nature with their lover...and only their lover.

Reply to learn
Posted by: JT | 2010/09/06

Me again.. is it even possible that a relationship can work between an intro and extro?

By the way: He is 40 and I am 33.

Reply to JT
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/06

Introvert / extrovert are of course summaries, and such a couple might either be so drastically different as to be unable to get along, or just sufficiently different to be complementary and enjoy the differences.
However, to me feeling a fierce need to have to go out every weekend night sounds more like lack of imagination, and lack of an ability to entertain oneself.
Can't you work out a compromise between you, with him spending some nights with you, or going out but to do something you choose and enjoy, and perhaps you going out socializing with him on some of his nights, so it's less something that he does without including you.

Reply to cybershrink

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