Posted by: Anxious hubby | 2009-04-20

intimate exams

Hi I get very anxious when my wife has to visit her gynae, I am not jealous at all and trust her 1000% and her doc is great he delivered both our children who are now 18 and 14. But after all these years it still drives me crazy, because of this she once, about 13 years ago let me go with her, then I could relax. But since then she has refused telling me that she let me in once so that I could see what goes on. I know that its just a professional check up, but I cant come to terms with it, it seldom leaves my mind.
Our marriage abd sex life is fantastic, were still best friends after 20 years, but for this one issue that I have, that she refuses to discuss, am I abnormal in this regard. I adore her and would not invade her privacy or her right to choose any doctor, I know her doc is great, and a female doc would somehow help a bit, but even then id rather be present.

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Our expert says:
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This is rather excessive jealousy. Believe me, as someone who practised gynae for a time, for a man it really tends to take all the romance out of life --- there is nothing erotic ( exdcept for the very rare and thoroughly warped individual ) in dealing with a woman's nether reasons in a clinical setting. Would you want her to come along if you needed a prostate examination from your own doc ? Would you understand if she assumed that there must be something erotic between you and the doc carrying out the prostate exam ? Rather go for some marriage counselling to help you get this into perspective.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maybe | 2009-04-21

Perhaps you are normal - although just a touch over-reacting.

Reply to Maybe
Posted by: Ja | 2009-04-20

I think youre normal for a guy tat loves his wife. And being rational about it by brushing it off.
My wife hates it with a passion and i feel for her. Imagine her getting feeling the way you do when you have your prostate checked!!!

Reply to Ja
Posted by: Anxious hubby | 2009-04-20

Thanks Lee and Liza. I did not expect to get blasted, just something constructive. I know my wife does not enjoy it, but I know other men that feel like I do, but most of us just brush it off as nothing if asked, I know I do. But thanks for all comment, and I hope ill get some more.

Reply to Anxious hubby
Posted by: Liza | 2009-04-20

I would definitely not want spectators during an exam. Even if that spectator were my adored husband....

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-04-20

A complete over-reaction. Get over yourself.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Lee | 2009-04-20

dont stress about it, its really no big deal, trust me, we as females hate it more than you men. chill boet!

Reply to Lee
Posted by: T | 2009-04-20

Bonny you are so right. I for one wish I could send someone else on my behalf. It' s not a nice experience, and one you wouldn' t really want to describe to someone else.

Reply to T
Posted by: Bonny | 2009-04-20

Well, I think you are abnormal in feeling like you do. I can promise you that your wife does not enjoy one minute of the examination herself and would gladly not go the the gynae, but this is something that we women must go through.

Reply to Bonny

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