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Question
Posted by: Shudu | 2012-05-14

Intimacy in Marriage

I am married for two years, 37 yrs old and hubby 39. We used to have a perfect sex life, of late he is been so withdrawn in the bedroom, we never went to bed or pass a night without doing it. Since lasy year December, he stopped and he can only do it once in two weeks and it will be less than 10 minutes. I am not too sure what it happening with him, he also stopped doing it romantically, he expects me to do all the work while he is sitting there, then do his thing and pass out. I am not saying it should be daily, but it must be fun, and its early days for us. What can the problem be with him, so far we don''t have fights or any major problems. He is gaining weight and I think that also has a negative impact.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Obviously this bothers you, and you need an explanation for what has changed to drastically since last December. There can be physical reasons, related to the onset of some physical illness, or psychological factors, such as the beginning of depression or anxiety and serious stress at work. Or, frankly, this sort of thing can happen if he has become emotionally and sexually involved with someone else, so he is sexually occupied elsewhere, and has little left for you when he gets home.
A calm, unemotional ( men get frightened by emotions and feel very sensitive about their sexual abilities ) chat, about how much you have enjoyed your sex life until recently, how excellent he was, and how you're puzzled about how and why things hanve changed, and how to help him to get things right again, might help. If he is willing to face the fact that there has been a negative change and that help is needed, then a psychologist or counsellor ( eg through FAMSA )with an interest in helping with sexual problems, would be useful.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: annon | 2012-05-17

we are married now for 1 year. how sex life was good until 3 months ago. my wife moved out of the room and i am not even allowed to hol her hand! she blames menopause but she is so happy with other people but can hardly talk to me and if she does i need to do something for her. she goes away with her 13 year old daughter and stays at her best friends(female) flat for up to 2weeks ata time and then come back home.while she is there she does not contacy me nor reply sms nor answer the phone! what must i do? be patient or divorce her? she loves me as her husband but got no feelings for me and do not want to divorce me.

Reply to annon
Posted by: annon | 2012-05-17

we are married now for 1 year. how sex life was good until 3 months ago. my wife moved out of the room and i am not even allowed to hol her hand! she blames menopause but she is so happy with other people but can hardly talk to me and if she does i need to do something for her. she goes away with her 13 year old daughter and stays at her best friends(female) flat for up to 2weeks ata time and then come back home.while she is there she does not contacy me nor reply sms nor answer the phone! what must i do? be patient or divorce her? she loves me as her husband but got no feelings for me and do not want to divorce me.

Reply to annon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-05-14

Obviously this bothers you, and you need an explanation for what has changed to drastically since last December. There can be physical reasons, related to the onset of some physical illness, or psychological factors, such as the beginning of depression or anxiety and serious stress at work. Or, frankly, this sort of thing can happen if he has become emotionally and sexually involved with someone else, so he is sexually occupied elsewhere, and has little left for you when he gets home.
A calm, unemotional ( men get frightened by emotions and feel very sensitive about their sexual abilities ) chat, about how much you have enjoyed your sex life until recently, how excellent he was, and how you're puzzled about how and why things hanve changed, and how to help him to get things right again, might help. If he is willing to face the fact that there has been a negative change and that help is needed, then a psychologist or counsellor ( eg through FAMSA )with an interest in helping with sexual problems, would be useful.

Reply to cybershrink

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