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Question
Posted by: Caro | 2011/10/20

Intimacy

I''m dating a guy with whom I find it difficult to communicate my needs/fears. I find him to be somewhat ''reserved'' or shy ( I''m not sure) especially on intimacy issues ( He can talk on all other general issues). He usually declares his undying love through texting ( which I ''ve accepted). .I sometimes try through small talks and create that environment, he either becomes so brief or tactfully changes the topic.Despite all these, I have noticed that he loves me.

I would wish if we can connect on an emotional level, find common ground and be able to talk and share our needs and fears. I''m afraid to initiate a discussion on this with the fear that I will have crossed his boundary. I love him though.
Please advise me on how to approach this matter.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I would say that the only way to deal with this is directly - ask him how you can talk to him about your needs and fears in a way that doesn't frighten him...it is important in a relationship that each is able to talk to the other about their feelings and if you can't then the relationship may take serious strain later anyway...rather address it now and try to support him as best you can to try to face his anxiety about talking about such matters...

Claire – SASHA

For further information please consult SASHA's website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/10/20

I would say that the only way to deal with this is directly - ask him how you can talk to him about your needs and fears in a way that doesn't frighten him...it is important in a relationship that each is able to talk to the other about their feelings and if you can't then the relationship may take serious strain later anyway...rather address it now and try to support him as best you can to try to face his anxiety about talking about such matters...

Claire – SASHA

For further information please consult SASHA's website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

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