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Question
Posted by: Steve | 2011/04/06

Intervering Mom

Hi there,

Please help,Me and my wife are staying in a cottage at my mom''s for 5 years now.The reason is cause we are not financially strong enough to get our own place.Everything my wife does or say is a problem to her,she has even now go and accused my wife of adultery and being a bad mother to our kids.I am to a point where i can do something that I shouldn''t.The problem is that my mom is someone you cant sit and talk with,cause she scold the whole world must hear.My wife want to move out with the kids all because of this.I have now wrote my mom a letter stating how i feel...I need to know what more can be done...please.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It can be difficult when you can't yet aford to be independent, and have to live with parents. And the parents may interfere most unhelpfully. You have made a good start with the letter. You mom is probably too old to change her ways fully, and to stop her bad habit of criticizing others and assuming she's always right. But she needs to understand that she is hurting you, your wife and children, and needs to keep her advice to herself. Emphasize that you are grateful to be able to stay at home until you can aford your own place, but that her nagging and disrespect is a very high price to pay for that.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/06

It can be difficult when you can't yet aford to be independent, and have to live with parents. And the parents may interfere most unhelpfully. You have made a good start with the letter. You mom is probably too old to change her ways fully, and to stop her bad habit of criticizing others and assuming she's always right. But she needs to understand that she is hurting you, your wife and children, and needs to keep her advice to herself. Emphasize that you are grateful to be able to stay at home until you can aford your own place, but that her nagging and disrespect is a very high price to pay for that.

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