Our expert says:
Ah, one of THOSE ! You're describing a more extreme than usual version of a problem some of us do suffer from - being over-sympathetic in a manner that is unhelpful to you AND unhelpful to the people you are feeling bad for. The important thing isn't that these are milder fellow-feelings that encourage you to be nice to others and help when you can - these simply make you feel uselessly bad.
And apparently you sacrifice yourself to help those who don't need or deserve such help. Apparently your family have learned how to play your guilt to manipulate you.
SO its a matter of proportion, of not adding your own emotional suffering uselessly to that of others.
I would really advise you to see a CBT oriented shrink for counselling to help you bring this impulse under more useful control, to reduce your own unnecessary distress, while making it easy for you to assist others
Of course, far more social harm is caused by people of the opposite inclination - those who feel absolutely nothing about the suffering of others, even when they themselves have deliberately caused it. And the indifference and selfishness of the average folks who see nothing in life as important as their own shallow enjoyment is unfortunate, too
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